I Get It Mom...I Understand Now

The other day I wrote about my oldest always helping out friends when she’s at camp field trips. I love her kind soul. She’s always been a giving person. People like her naturally are like that. It’s somewhat taught but mostly part of them and their character. I hate to stop her or tell her not to do it but it’s my job as a parent to set some boundaries. 

So she came up to me today and said next week will be another field trip and she asked for $40. Sure I replied but let me know what you plan on doing with the money. She responded she would first grab lunch and a drink and for me not to pack her lunch. The rest she will use for games. I said what about your friends. She said no this time I will only help if they ask or really need something. 

I said I want you to understand that if they are short a dollar it’s ok to give it to them. It they need an extra token or ticket it’s ok to give it to them. But don’t feel responsible for them. It’s not your role. You aren’t obligated to pay for their food or anything they need. 

She understood. 

Now there’s a part of parenting where a fine line can be drawn. You have to really process how to respond to situations. You don’t want to teach your kids to not be helpful or compassionate. You don’t want them to be greedy or selfish. But they need to respect the value of a dollar and good karma. You also don’t want them to be a pushover. The go to for paying for everything just to make friends happy. Helping those in need when they need it is a given. Always try to. Even if someone is being bullied or picked on I always say you must tell a teacher and stick up for anyone being put down. You must help when you can or where needed but not volunteering to always help without them asking or needing it.