I Love That You Have A Kind Soul But Please Stop

I started to notice a trend. Every time she had an activity and I gave her extra money she was doing kind things for her friends and spending her money. 

“Mom I bought a whole pizza for my group, I ate a slice of it and they had the rest” “Mom I bought her a drink.” “Mom I played one game but had to win my friend a toy too so played for her” “Mom you have extra tickets just give it to my friend”

Finally tonight I pulled her aside at a festival and said enough. I love that you have a kind soul but you have to understand the value of money. 

I get it. When I was 10 I didn’t know concept of money. If my friends wanted something I would offer too or ask my mom. I don’t mind giving a kid a couple of tickets so she can join a ride. But when I am spending $10 or more now and have already three kids to worry about it gets to be a little much. 

I love she has a kind soul but had to break it down for her. I explained how many chores she would have to do to make money or how many hours. 

Recently she asked for an extra $50 for a school trip. That’s spending money. The trip already covered.  Everything else paid for. I said I will give you $40 but please let it last. She said she was thirsty because she used all her money on games and couldn’t afford a drink when I picked her up. 

I wasn’t there to back her up. I felt awful for her but also thought it would be a good lesson for her. 

I realize it’s my job as a parent to help my kids understand it too.

 I also said I had no problem giving extra tickets if  her friend was short on tickets for rides but when I am now giving her friend we ran into 8 tickets for multiple rides that’s when it’s not ok. There has to be a balance in life. No one wants to be cheap or stingy but you also don’t have to offer up money or a whole pizza or tickets unless someone is really in a jam. You do help people when they need it but a child shouldn’t have to focus on that. 

If someone is short a dollar you help. If someoneis hungry   you share your food. One year a friend never had snack so I said pack her extra snack to share with her. We did it all year long. 

If someone is sad you see where you can help. But the last four times I gave her extra money she used it on something else. It’s ok once in a while but not every time. It’s ok to help when people need it and be generous but it’s also ok to not feel responsible for everyone else.