What...Settling Again? But Why?

Have you felt this way? You know numb? Where you didn’t get mad or hurt anymore. You just rode it out. Went along. Did the necessary duties to get by. Emotionless. 

A lot of people go through their whole life this way. At one point I did. I did to protect my emotions and my soul. 

When I changed my life. When I chose to take ownership of my life I let go of the numbness. I dealt with the emotions. 

What ended up happening is you become a little dependent of people. You let your guard down.  You fall easily to people who treat you nicely or give you attention. Sounds awful. But you went so long being tough that you then didn’t have to be anymore so you let people in. You showed your weak side. 

Here’s the tricky part. You may lack a sense of judgement. You may fall back in a cycle. The cycle of wanting to be loved and accepted. Where you live in a la la land thinking something is different than it is. 

But then reality sets in.  You think about all you have overcome. Where you were emotionally years ago verse now. You say you don’t deserve anything less than good. Great. Amazing. You don’t settle. You don’t settle for mediocre anymore. Because you have come so far. So far in your journey of being mistreated to being numb to opening up again to then being in situations that you knew weren’t 100% right for you but it felt right at the time. 

You are strong. You are powerful. You overcame being numb. You allowed yourself to feel again. To put yourself out there emotionally. Yes you will get hurt again but then walk away. Don’t go back to hurt some more. 

I learned one lesson and you may not agree but when someone hurts you once...just once...it will repeat again. They will hurt you again. Now it’s up to you to forgive and heal and overcome but the signs are there. The patterns are all there. 

What someone does to you now they will do to you again later. 

I am proud of you for opening up and wanting to love and no don’t feel like a fool. Don’t feel dumb for letting someone else in and hurting. Because at one time it felt good and you needed it. But know when to stay verse when to let go. Know when your journey has ended and walk away with some pride and dignity.