Stop! Let’s Talk About It

Aggressive, physical behavior is taught- indirectly. It’s seen. It’s a way for us to express how we feel without using words. I get it but it’s 100% wrong. It’s never ok. Ever. 

My kids hit eachother. I get it. My sisters and I did. We  did some damage to eachother growing up. But I don’t want my girls to think that’s how we should communicate. I have never hit them. I may yell and punish but we never were physical with them

so I expect them not hit either. 

So I have been enforcing a violent free home. Even anger and rage. Not ok. We need to be able to stop. Listen. Process. THEN  React. 

Yesterday my middle one did it backwards. I finally said explain to me what triggered you. She couldn’t. She said she couldn’t put it into words. So I said fine. Draw it. 

She did. We discussed it. I repeated that she can not take matters into her own hands and to Stop. Listen. Process before Reacting. 

It’s funny when you speak to kids they may say I don’t know what that word is or what that means. So you have to explain it all. I had to explain to process- think about what’s happening. Think how should she handle the situation. Before reacting.  

Every home should be a violent free home. We haven’t learned how to communicate properly. I haven’t. You haven’t. No one really has. So we repeat these cycles. It’s damaging. It’s wrong. 

I never realized how damaging until I started to meditate. When I meditated I couldn’t calm my brain because I would see aggressive behavior being acted out in front of me. It’s not ok. Never. It’s damaging. Whether it happens once a month or once a year it’s too much. 

I started to change my cycle. I would meet men who were manly men but very calm. Not aggressive when upset. I started to be close to friends who were calm. I learned that you can be upset without yelling and swearing or breaking something or intimidating someone. It’s awful. Not ok. Very immature. 

We have to teach our kids how to communicate. How to not first react then process listen and stop. It’s the wrong order. It always has been wrong but we have been witnesses to it. Every action has a consequence. We as parents, adults, role models must learn how to speak and deal with our emotions properly because our kids are constantly watching. We also need our kids to know that violence is never ok. Verbal or physical reactions are never ok. When we are triggered we have to stop. Even if it means walk away. Don’t answer the phone. Don’t respond to a text. Do what you need to do to make sure situations don’t escalate. 

I can’t believe how many people have been exposed to violent behavior and situations including myself. It’s a cycle that must be broken and starts today with you and me and everyone. Stop this cycle.