Never ever have regret! Never regret anything you have done or who you had in your life. It’s all lessons.
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
Dealing With The Emotion Of...Rejection
I was 15 the last time I remember being rejected. That’s way too long ago. So I had a situation stir up and it triggered me. I could not figure it out. It got me so mad and then it hit me. I was being rejected. The pain I was feeling was rejection.
Now let’s be real. Anything you don’t get in life is a blessing. Really is. But rejection isn’t something I am used to or anyone for that matter. This person still wanted to be in my life on their terms and I swear I was a beast every time we reached out to one another. Even though I wanted this person in my life I didn't want the set backs attached to it. I had to ask myself why does this person trigger me so much. It hit me...rejection. I even told them my anger is due to you rejecting me and wanting me in your life on your terms and to be honest no one has control over me like that. Ever.
It brought me pain every single time I thought our roles in eachother life could ever be what it once was.
“It activated the same areas of our brain as physical pain! That's right – rejection causes you literal pain.”
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Can you imagine... pain from rejection. I was feeling pure pain.
I am very in tune with how I feel but this person made me bring out a side of me I didn’t know existed, because I don’t normally deal with this type of emotion. I will admit it’s a lesson. It’s growth. It’s part of my journey.
When I vented to my friend about this he told me it’s ok,
“You have to look at rejection as a$$holes, everybody has 1, but really it's ok to face it. Face it and move on,”
That’s the type of friends I love. Real and straight to the point with humor attached.
Whether relationship or work or life or whatever. Rejection happens. It’s what you do with it that matters.
Some people don’t care. They are constantly rejected and move on. It’s pretty amazing. Their ego and self esteem isn’t affected at all by rejection. To them
Some people don’t care. They are constantly rejected and move on. It’s pretty amazing. Their ego and self esteem isn’t affected at all by rejection. To them
“It is what it is”. Some people aren’t used to it and it takes time to process. That would be me or you. Some people grow from it and later can laugh about it to be grateful because it was a blessing. Which should be all
of us really because nothing in life happens without something better happening. I realized that early on too.
Once I realized the emotion I felt was rejection, it had me thinking. There were times I rejected people. Some reacted, some didn’t. It wasn’t my intentions to hurt them. It just wasn’t a fit. Whether when it came to relationships or hiring them. Then I thought about all the emotionally wounded people I met and know. Rejection was the cause to most. It all made sense. It all boils now to being rejected, not accepted or not being approved or getting what you want. I had guy friends who felt rejected from their significant others and it causes a lot of damage to them. Making it hard for them to fully be in another relationship. Also makes them weak to that person and that person has complete control over time.
People who don’t get the job they wanted causes damage. Not getting into the college you wanted causes damage. Rejection messes with your worth. Self esteem. Goals. List goes on.
“Of course, rejection causes us more than some emotional pain. It hurts our self-esteem, causes us anger or sadness, and knocks us off course from feeling stability in our lives. But there’s something you need to know. Most of these side-effects are self-inflicted.”*
Regardless in life when someone doesn’t bring out your highest good you have to not allow them to remain in your life. You have to set them free. You have to be strong enough to walk away and be at peace. You don’t settle for what they are willing to give you. You are the winner lottery ticket- never forget that! Rejection doesn’t define you, you define you!
Whenever a new emotion triggers you it’s your job to figure out why so you can grow as a person. You owe it to yourself to heal anything that isn’t bringing out your best self.
“Rejection can strengthen our mentality and contribute to our future success, if we only let it.”
I had to look into this more. I had to recognize and learn more so I found this article below.
