Memories Are Where You Leave Them

I try to start my day at the gym. It’s like the healthiest  and cheapest therapy. I love it. It’s not just about releasing stress or being skinny no it’s about connecting with yourself. I blast my music and get lost in my thoughts. 

So the year of healing is about unburying deep wounds. Bringing them to the surface and then dealing with them. Owning your part but healing. Forgiving.  Repeat behavior makes forgiveness hard. 

This song comes on in the middle of my workout. A ton of emotions and memories rush over me. Not good ones. Painful ones. My whole moods changes. I should change the song BUT I don’t. I feel the emotions. All of them. I even replay the song because I want the wound to heal. I want it to not resurface again. I won’t lie it sucked. I was at the gym too not even at home where I could feel. I was in the middle of my workout. My heart rate changed. I got hot. My whole body tensed. But I allow the process to happen and didn’t distract myself to ignore it. 

We are all wounded and need healing. Repeat behavior will never heal the wound. It’s like picking at a scab. It will get harder and harder to heal. 

I had to face some truths today. I had to feel. 

You have the power to take control over your life. This is your life. No one has the right to hurt you or prevent you from healing. But do yourself a favor. Don’t bury it.