Thursday, September 10, 2020
The Spot Stop Swap Approach by Jay Shetty
I am loving this book, Think Like A Monk. In one chapter under Negativity he discusses the Spot, Stop,Swap concept.
When you are triggered it’s the best time for healing and deep thinking. Triggers show what wounds need healing. The Spot approach tells us to look at the issue and feeling. Stop approach tells us to not react. Look at the issue and understand it. The Swap approach is really important and takes practice. This is where you try a different approach in dealing with the issue. How to resolve what’s bothering you. How to handle the trigger.
Next time you get triggered or have an argument try the Spot Stop Swap approach.
Heal To Find What You Really Need & Deserve
I woke up at 4:00 am and felt a wave of past emotions. I tried to shrug it off and fell back to sleep. It was better when I woke up later that morning but for some reason it stayed with me. I didn’t want to create an argument because I didn’t even really know what was bothering me but I noticed I couldn’t shake it.
I had to dig deep to figure it out. When we are upset we think it’s at the surface most of the time it’s not.
It was my past experience. A past situation resurfaced. Just one small gesture and that insecurity came back. I was reliving it but with a new partner. They say you aren’t suppose to bring past relationship insecurities into a new one but it’s hard not to. I have done so much work on figuring myself out that I knew exactly what was bothering me. How one small
gesture triggered a past emotion I once had from a past relationship. Gratefully we are great at communicating and I brought it up we dealt and it was fine.
I just needed to clear the air. I needed to hear me say it out loud. I even appreciated him so much more after speaking to him about it that he reassured me to always say how I feel.
Past wounds are not other people’s responsibility to heal for us. It’s OUR responsibility. What is also our responsibility is to never assume. We need to discuss nicely whenever we feel a trigger. Whenever something gives us doubt.
You need to find a partner you can discuss anything with at anytime. To not feel a discussion will be an argument. That instead a discussion will bring you closer even when he had nothing to do with it. He was so supportive and understanding and to me that mattered more than any conversation we ever had. It showed me how secure he felt in us. How I too needed a relationship like ours. So different than any I have ever had.
You have the power to heal. You owe it to yourself to heal. You also owe it to yourself to find a partner who truly is good for you.
Sweet Ashley’s in Norwalk
To be honest I don’t even know what they ordered but it made me feel like we were holding on to summer for as long as we can.
Great ice cream spot. Every time we go in the staff is super friendly. They even take preorders.
