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Saturday, August 3, 2019
You Need Healing...Don’t We All
I previous wrote about the healing stones I purchased when I was away. So the other day I had my mom hold each one to see where she felt the most energy. Was crazy that she felt some stones get warm.
I again did it and amethyst gave off the most energy to me. I need...Healing. Calm thoughts. More peace.
Sounds about right. I really have come a long way with processing with triggers. I won’t lie I still try not to react. Thinking ok that sucks but why does it bother me. Why do I allow it to be a part of me. Why do I allow it to affect me.
It’s really about within. Self love. Are you worthy of love? Also past experiences. Is any love ok love? Is not being alone better even though these people aren’t emotionally available so you’re really alone anyway.
It’s a cycle. Healing...I think we all need it. We all need some good healthy healing.
Here’s the next step...we have to only allow people in our life who will contribute to our healing not cause more pain. See what I did there?!
That’s a huge misguided truth. We need to make sure new people or people around us don’t cause pain because then we will healing from one thing while creating more pain from another that requires more healing.
Can’t this whole process be less complicated. Can’t people come in with open arms to love and have fun and be good for you and to you and you do the same?
If only it were that simple! I wouldn’t have to write so much.
Sometimes You Cause Your Own Pain
It’s a learning process right. Fate. Destiny and sometimes it’s YOU. You not reading through the lines. You making poor decisions. You not following your intuition.
Yeah we need to own our own life. Our own truth and failure. Our own decisions. They are ours. No one is to blame but us.
So shake it off and restart. Regroup. Focus on what each lessons taught you and then say ok next journey I will be and do better. I will know better.
I Get It Mom...I Understand Now
The other day I wrote about my oldest always helping out friends when she’s at camp field trips. I love her kind soul. She’s always been a giving person. People like her naturally are like that. It’s somewhat taught but mostly part of them and their character. I hate to stop her or tell her not to do it but it’s my job as a parent to set some boundaries.
So she came up to me today and said next week will be another field trip and she asked for $40. Sure I replied but let me know what you plan on doing with the money. She responded she would first grab lunch and a drink and for me not to pack her lunch. The rest she will use for games. I said what about your friends. She said no this time I will only help if they ask or really need something.
I said I want you to understand that if they are short a dollar it’s ok to give it to them. It they need an extra token or ticket it’s ok to give it to them. But don’t feel responsible for them. It’s not your role. You aren’t obligated to pay for their food or anything they need.
She understood.
Now there’s a part of parenting where a fine line can be drawn. You have to really process how to respond to situations. You don’t want to teach your kids to not be helpful or compassionate. You don’t want them to be greedy or selfish. But they need to respect the value of a dollar and good karma. You also don’t want them to be a pushover. The go to for paying for everything just to make friends happy. Helping those in need when they need it is a given. Always try to. Even if someone is being bullied or picked on I always say you must tell a teacher and stick up for anyone being put down. You must help when you can or where needed but not volunteering to always help without them asking or needing it.
Real Intimacy Has Nothing To Do With Sex
When you can open up and be truthful. When you can communicate without fighting. When you can be honest even if it’s something they don’t want to hear. Even when it’s silly or may sound dumb. When you find someone you can be you, real, open and safe with. That’s more intimate than anything else. That’s a deep true connection. It’s super sexy. It’s what everyone needs in a relationship.
Let’s Fast Forward Time
Wouldn’t it be great if we could fast forward time and see how things end up. Then we could enjoy the journey so much more. Then we wouldn’t keep holding on to people or situations. Hoping for the best but deep down knowing that you may be wasting your time. That all along it never was going to turn out the way you hoped or thought.
How all along it never was going to be what you wanted or needed. Instead we just wait. Silly....we wait for things to go in our favor and well sometimes they don’t.
I know I know I say enjoy the journey. Enjoy the process. Yes it’s true. But sometimes we can prevent our own pain and hurt. We just don’t because we think things will end up differently then they probably will.
Just be ok with it. No matter what the outcome is. Trust your journey. Don’t wait but don’t chase either.
Happy Saturday!
In life we hang on to each others words. Things said to us. How great if we can turn around and only hang onto the good stuff. Let go of the negative. Cleanse our minds of doubt and hurt. Open our hearts up.
My friend yesterday told me “you appreciate the small joys in life I can learn from you.” I said I was happy we met and appreciated that.
That’s all our goals right? To learn from one another and teach one another things. To help eachother feel good. To point out positive stuff in them that they may not see themselves.
Why Laughing IS The Best Medicine
I did dinner the other night with a girlfriend. She’s so sarcastic. She’s the best. She starts off her story by saying I went to CVS the other day down street which by the way I am not allowed back in.
Right there I just start to laugh. My stomach hurt from laughing so much from her story. Straight face and all. She is the best.
I love to laugh. I mean who doesn’t? I also love certain people in my life because they do make me laugh so much. I love being in their company and their messages. I love their stories and humor. I love making people laugh. It’s like the kid in us comes out.
Now what if I told you laughing relieves...Pain! Yep. Read this:
Why Laughter May Be the Best Pain Medicine
Notice When You’re Triggered & Say Something
You have to be comfortable enough to know your emotions. When your mood shifts. I was speaking to a friend. Awesome fun silly conversation and then bam. My friend said one thing and it triggered me. I felt it. My blood pressure rose, I felt sad, mad and instead of fighting I called it out. I said you triggered me. And they apologized. That’s it. No fighting no back and forth banter. It stopped and I went back to fun silly banter.
Why is this important? Because people don’t know when you’re mad or why. We hold in a lot of crap, pain and then what happens? We become distant and angry. We hold a grudge. We have pain. We don’t heal.
What if when someone does something we don’t like we call them out on it?
Hey that bothered me. Can we discuss it? Or hey that triggered me and I don’t like how that made me feel. Don’t be defensive when someone says that. Say ok no problem.
Why haven’t we become intune with our feelings, needs and wants yet? That’s YOUR job to do for YOU!
Barcelona in Norwalk
Waypointe is hopping! I love it. All the restaurants have a ton of outdoor seating. There’s such a big crowd. I guess I never realized it. I usually go during the week. It’s really developing into a fun area.
When you’re out to dinner with girlfriends my favorite thing is to get a bunch of tapas. Barcelona is the perfect place for it. They have a ton and they are the perfect size to share. Not too small not too big, just enough to be filling.
Their Patata Bravas are the best I have ever had.
So tasty and crunchy. We could have ordered a second round. We also ordered their skirt steak, shistos peppers and seared scallops.
Delicious. Fun. Awesome atmosphere outside. Being outside sipping on drinks. Eating tapas and laughing.
For dessert we split then crepes for dessert and all of this for under $40 each with tip included.
Yep a night out for under $40 is a big win!
