Everything is new. I was on bed rest and it was an awful pregnancy but I was so happy because it was new and I was pregnant and had this baby growing in my belly. She made a "Mom" I was the best mom or would like to think that my first born was amazing because I was amazing. It wasn't because of me, she was who she was. I helped bring that out but she came out that way too. She slept. She was sweet. We did everything together. I took her every where with me. Life was easy, even though with your first it is the hardest change.
Second Child
You began to feel you would be missing out with alone time with your first and guilty that you would not be able to love and give your second as much as you gave your first. You think "could I possibly love her as much as her older sister. " you start to understand the connection your parent has with her first and try to build it with your second all while you're still pregnant.
Once she arrives all changes. Of course you love her as much as your first. She's another creation that is a different variation of who you and your husband are. You don't want her compared to her big sister. You want her to be accepted for her own unique personality. You track her milestones not as best as the first but you try your best. You cannot image a third because how could you handle a third.
Third Child
I never planned on a third- well at least not so soon. You're a little over the pregnancy thing and then as it inches towards your due date you think "OMG this is my last pregnancy. Maybe we should have a fourth". Once you realize you never napped like you could with pregnancy one and two the thought of another pregnancy disappears real fast.
You hope your clothes from previous babies still look good to reuse- I lucked out having three girls so they could use each other things. You definitely don't go buy new maternity clothes. You think "I am sorry baby. I don't think I even talk to my belly and don't want you to think yelling is my permanent voice." You feel sad your middle child is no longer the baby and she will now be labeled the "middle child" which she always acted like one but felt you could change her. You cling onto your middle one and try to baby her because well we all know once the baby comes she is no longer the one getting all the attention.
Milestones...you intend to write them down and like to believe that you will remember. Which we all know you won't.
Having Three Children
You wish your house was bigger so they all could have their own personal space. You don't rush the youngest growing up because she will walk and talk and be Independent soon enough. You try to take your first out once in a while alone so she doesn't resent not having any alone time with you.
Your second amazes you with her fast learned independence. She thinks and acts and does things like her big sister but in who own way. She wants to grow up fast and you take moments out of your day to try to sit with her so you can play with her and take in those special moments. You actually start to read books about having multiple children and how to handle different personalities.
Your third, well mine at least, is calm and normally always some where her sisters can't fall on or touch so normally the pack an play while you try to shower and make dinner and clean and pack lunch and give the others a bath.
When you pass by she looks up and smiles because for the quick second you finally make eye contact. You often apologize to all of them for wishing you could make each happy all the time but we know that is impossible. At night when the older ones are asleep you take out the play mat and play with her. You notice then how much she's already changed and grown and is rushing to be like her two older sisters.
You love them all the same but enjoy their company doing things that they enjoy. They are NOT all alike but you cannot image your life without them. They are all your favorite in their own way.
Once Alone Time
Once you get a minute to yourself you miss them all. You miss the chaos and need for you to help them. You feel overwhelmed with gratefulness to have them. You realize you wouldn't change anything and they are three complete different variations of who you and your husband are. You rush and clean the house, cook and run errands so when they finally get home you think you will finally have time to give them all your undivided attention- which we all know is nice to think but can never happen because you are now and will always be a mother to three kids!
