Work has been crazy. The back to school hustle has been intense. This weekend was just what I needed to regroup before going back to the hustle tomorrow.
Great chats. Great fun. Relaxing moments. Spending time with my little ones. Releasing tension. Connecting with family and friends. Spontaneous fun. Trying new restaurants. Comfort food. Walks. Naps.
We need to slow down. We need to embrace the moment. We need to listen to our bodies and catch up on sleep and rest. We need to understand there has to be a balance in life.
Stop the hustle. Be sure good to your body and mind.
Not a lot of cars get me to turn around to look twice but bring out some Food Trucks and I will run up and take a picture with you. Food trucks make me one happy girl. Haha
Lately we have been walking. The weather is perfect for it. An hour walk and back makes a difference in your mood. It really does. We started to see leaves on the ground. But then noticed all the shapes and I began to laugh. Someone must really love us. All these heart leaves on the same walk. It made me happy.
You have to believe theres more out there in the world. The simple pleasures make life beautiful.
Now the world isn’t perfect. It can be scary. I won’t lie. I have had some situations that I didn’t think the world was as great as seeing leaves in the shape of hearts. You have to know your audience and situation. I went grocery shopping today after I brought my girls to their dad’s house. Earlier in the day. I have to paint you this picture. Now picture this..
I am pushing a cart between my car and another car to put it up on the side walk. I have a cookie in my mouth. My purse on my shoulder and car keys in my hands. The cookie is hanging out of my mouth. I turn around and there’s a man. It’s now me and him between two cars. He asks me for money. I am beyond pissed. He catches me off guard. I have no hands to defend myself. I take the cookie about of my mouth and tell him I have no cash. He comes forward and has an umbrella wrapped in his hand. We are still between two cars. I say you need to back up. He’s like I am just asking for $2 I said I already told you I have no cash and you have some nerve approaching me for money. I am now furious. He actually apologies and I say it’s not cool man and he walks away.
I was beyond pissed. But then I processed it’s all, damn this situation could have went super bad. My rush was anger and I showed it to him and I knew by his size I could take him out but still. It was violating to me. I am at a freaking grocery store. I had a cookie hanging out of my mouth. No hands. I laugh now but life isn’t just roses and hearts and happiness. It’s freaking scary and you have to be tough. But know your role. Know when to be tough and when to be soft.
Appreciate the little things like heart shaped leaves. But also don’t be oblivious.
It’s not anyone’s responsibility but your own. You know to fix yourself. Work out any insecurities you have. Asking for support from someone who is your companion or spouse is ok...but there’s boundaries and rules.
Now there’s a difference. When you suck a person’s energy from them while you fix yourself it’s selfish. You need to acknowledge they can’t fix you. You need to do it on your own but they can love you along the way as long as you do your part. When fixing yourself you can’t be abusive, you can’t turn someone’s world upside down because your world isn’t how you want it to be. You must acknowledge and process before reacting. You must also set boundaries. What is acceptable what isn’t. We are human. We slip up. But own it. Also I also now say to anyone if I need to vent “is this a good time to talk”. Asking if they have mental space right now is also really good too. It’s asking for permission before dumping on to someone.
A lot of people point blame. Trust me I have witnessed it too much. Blaming someone for your anger or debt or insecurities or pain...etc. First step is to own it. Own your life.
I was married young. So young. I never was alone. Until now. And now I own it. I own my path. My life. My decisions. No blaming. Owning. It’s all me. I own my life. I own what I do with my life.
People get caught up on pointing a finger. This is not ok. You have to own your role in your life. And take responsibility for everything. Every action.
If someone loves you enough to stay by you while you fix yourself you must acknowledge the sacrifice someone is making and thank them. Yes. Thank them for helping you fix yourself. For loving you during the process.
I am a planner. I like structure and to make plans and stick to times and events. Well sometimes spontaneous adventures cross my path and I must say I love them too. I love the out of the blue “hey let’s get together or let’s go do this” “I am in is my response. Always. I love it. This weekend has had some spontaneous fun in it and it totally beat my “like to function with structure” mindset.
It’s life too. Ups and downs. Happy and stressful times. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. It just has to feel right and good and fun. Grateful for all in my life. Grateful for my messy life. Be grateful for yours.
I wrote a long time ago the number one marriage killer was unmet expectations. Post is here
So I came across this Tedx Talk that explains why we are living in a growing society of more and more unhappy people. Can you guess why?
It basically states how our expectations aren’t aligned with our reality. Hence why my previous post makes sense. See we have this vision in our head how things should be verse the reality of how they really are. The expectation gap puts a lot of pressure on us. Causes stress. Failed marriages and relationships. Increases depression and anxiety.
The “ I should have or be something I am not currently at in life”
Simplicity is key. But we don’t function or live in a society that portrays that.
This talk also talks about how one person’s pleasure is another person’s pain. I wrote about it in my post about dealing with rejection here
Please keep in mind your life can change when you change the way you think. When I wrote about unmet expectations in 2017 I was just going through the process of divorce. It wasn’t an easy road but I have come a long way since and happiness has been a main goal. Then my rejection post was this summer after a situation with someone I was seeing. I can’t believe how much my mindset has changed sense then.
Those two situations very different yet similar in a small way taught me to focus on me. My mindset to be happy. To let that pain and hurt go. To change my views on relationships and what I needed and deserved. I swear I am a better person now because of those pains and experiences. Just like every pain and experience I have ever had in life.
Keep life simple. Love yourself. Find happiness in the smallest. Purest forms. Don’t compete with anyone. Don’t compete for love or respect. Respect and love yourself. Appreciate where you are at in your life. Look around and be thankful for it all. I swear to do everyday.
