Wednesday, March 13, 2019
St. Patrick’s Day at The Dry Dock
I have gone here the last couple of years for St. Patrick’s Day and it’s always an awesome meal and a lot of fun.
Www.drydockbarandgrille.com
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
You Can’t Do This Journey Alone
The saying “no one gets it unless they have been through it” is 100% true. My divorce journey would have been awful if I didn’t have people in my life that could relate to me. What I was dealing with. The roller coaster ride alone. Now I tend to lend a helping hand and voice to those going through what I went through. My sister was my helping hand and now I tend to be my friends. No one should do this alone.
I met with a friend last night going through it. I stopped her and said girl just be happy and don’t second guess why you’re happy. It’s ok to be selfish. It’s ok to say I don’t want the rest of my life to be this way. Regardless of what age you are.
We need to take more ownership over what we want and need. No one can give it to us. No one can make decisions for you. Another close friend of mine was scared of outcome of her court date. Honey, I said, you make a final agreeement ahead of time and court doesn’t want to make it for you. You go in fully prepared. Agree ahead of time. Court isn’t scary. It just finalizes it.
These little tips take the pressure off your fears. Change is hard. Change is fearful. It’s ok to have fear just don’t face them alone. No one goes into a marriage thinking it will end one day. But people change along the process. Feelings change. Unmet expectations happen. Staying in a bad situation isn’t the solution. Building courage to fight for your happiness is the most courageous thing you can do.
Just Go With It...
You become a little on guard. Not sure what you’re really doing. But you are having fun along the way so you’re fighting with two demons...the thinking too far ahead and the just enjoy it while you can.
No one can predict what the future holds so you have to just keep reminding yourself to enjoy the moment. Enjoy the adventure. If it makes you happy then keeping doing it. Once it doesn’t that’s when you end it.
Monday, March 11, 2019
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Date Yourself! There’s No Second Guessing That!
I started to do this. Date myself a little more. There’s no second guessing that. When you invest in someone it’s about growth and comfort. Dinner last week solo. Taking myself to a movie this week. You can’t wait around for someone to make you happy. Make yourself happy. Those who want to join are just an addition. Not the main source.
Second time around is different. You’re older. Wiser. Know what you’re worth. Know what you deserve. If someone doesn’t give you all that then it’s time to do it for yourself. Date yourself. You can still have other people in your life but you have to feel enough for yourself.
Saturday, March 9, 2019
Feel Good Song...Taking It Back To Your Roots
One thing I noticed this past year I seem to go back to songs that remind me of my childhood. I have been into the songs of the 80’s and a lot of Italian music that my parents played when I was a child. Maybe it’s a reflection of where I came from. Maybe it’s me reconnecting with my past. When life was more simple. Less complex. More carefree.
My sister ordered the Ancestry test. It confirmed we were 95.2% European. The other percentage was Greek and Asian roots.
It was interesting to learn and confirm how Italian we really are. It also had us reminisce about some of our favorite Italian songs growing up.
Sometimes You Have to Focus on You!
It’s not being selfish. It’s realizing that you have to take control over your life. Stress is poison to your body. Always focus on making yourself happier. That way you can be healthier. It’s important to be true to you and your well being.
Friday, March 8, 2019
Interesting...
Everything reflects back to childhood. How we are shaped and molded. We usually pick a partner that is similar to one of our parents. We usually tend to have history repeat itself. Break the cycle.
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
It’s Ash Wednesday
10 years ago I got in a really bad car accident on Ash Wednesday. I walked away not hurt even though my car wrapped around a tree. I went to church that night and a little voice behind me said “Thank you for keeping me alive”. I always make it a point to go to church on Ash Wednesday and pray. Grateful for being alive. Grateful for the opportunity to enjoy life.
Enjoy Your Life...Always!
You don’t just live and die. The things in between matter too. You must live a life you wake up to everyday and enjoy. If you don’t then you need to make changes. No one can make changes for you!
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
I Am Sorry You Ate Dinner Alone...
I finally did it. I took myself out to dinner. Alone. I downloaded a book on my phone and ate at the bar. It’s a favorite spot for Monday’s. $6 charity steaks.
Sorry you ate alone my friend said when he showed up later for drinks. Don’t be sorry I said. I actually enjoyed it.
I read six chapters of the book. Had a couple of beers. Scoped out the scene and watched some of the game. Yeah I guess I stayed a while but I must say I would
totally do it again!
Being comfortable with who you are should be everyone’s goal in life.
Are you comfortable with who you really are?
RIP Luke Perry
The bad boy of the 90s. I think Luke Perry was every girl’s dream, every boy’s idol and every parents little nightmare. Rest In Peace pretend boyfriend to all the girls who were teenagers in the 90s!
Saturday, March 2, 2019
The Pecking Order How Is Yours Ranked?
It’s called a pecking order. The level of people in your life that take priority. In my situation my kids would be at the top. Then work and family. Then friends and fun. Then me.
Which isn’t always right. These order vary per person and situation. This also varies where you are in someone else’s pecking order. Think about the process. Is the top four people/things that are important in your pecking order the same as the people/things you are in their pecking order?
Where do you place YOURSELF in the pecking order? I almost have to take a step back and rank myself a little higher. Where I focus on creating my own happiness. Put myself higher up on this order. Self love. Self awareness. Rest. Self fulfillment. If you don’t put yourself up on a high ranking you can’t function enough to give enough importance to the other things in your pecking order.
It’s focusing on what you need. How well you think you have to have self care. It’s not easy to do. No one wants to put anything over their kids or family or work. But as you get older your order may change. It doesn’t mean they are not all important. It means you have to shift to accommodate your self love.
Are you even in your Pecking order?
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Are You Being Triggered?
It’s easier when you’re older, to sit back and say “Why did I react the way I did? Why did that “trigger” me. I do it a lot. I always ask why did it bother me. What’s REALLY bothering me. I swear it’s changed me. It’s helped me keep my composure and not feel unstable with my feelings. You feel grounded when you dig deep to figure out why you do and react the way you do.
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
Monday, February 25, 2019
Walk In With Confidence...Always
She’s at an age that somehow I can relate to. Where you have a love hate relationship with people. One minute things are good. Next something happens and emotions shift. It’s normal I told my daughter. Even Adults deal with conflict. With bullies. With situations that one minute everything is good with people in your life and next they aren’t.
Always walk in the room with confidence I told her. No matter where you are. Who you are with. Own the room. Smile. Sit and process before you react.
It happened to me last week. I am on a lot of boards in the community. One discussion got a little heated. One member was very aggressive in her belief and everyone in the room clammed up. I can’t stand a bully. I processed everything and looked around the room. Then I unleashed. I was careful with my words but the minute I spoke another leader whispered “Thank You” to me and emailed me later for my great contribution to the group.
You don’t need to argue I told my daughter. You will always have conflict but it’s about your approach. Your self confidence. No one can take that from you unless you allow it.
I may be viewed as a person with a strong voice but that’s why I get nominated for these boards. I present my opinion. My thoughts on change, backed with facts. With reason for change. Leave emotions aside as much as possible. Smile. Walk in with confidence. Own the room.
Everywhere you go. Every situation. Regardless of what people say your self confidence can’t be stolen from you unless you allow them to steal it!
I’ll Have An Old Fashioned Cocktail Please
I don’t even remember how it really started. One night a friend ordered it at a local bar and then I started going to places just to try their Old Fashioned Cocktails. It’s a mix of flavors. Burbon. Sweet. Yet Bitter. As the ice melts it becomes easier to
drink. You causal sip on it as you eat. Everyone who orders one gets it.
I have tried the Peanut Butter and Jelly Old Fashioned at Elm City Social in New Haven. My favorite of all time is the Old Fashioned at Village Bistro in Milford. It actually comes out in a smoke box.
We sat by the fire at Cask In Stamford and enjoyed sipping on it.
Some come with an old fashion infused cherry. Adds a bit of sweetness. It’s a relaxing, kick back and drink one or two type of drink.
Learn More About Old Fashioned Cocktails: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/bourbon-old-fashioned/#gs.gPhITqbW
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Live Your Life
I love music. I listen to music while working out. I listen to music while I work. It’s very therapeutic for me. Relaxes me. Helps me connect within and also makes me happy. My parents got us tickets to see Disturbed this past weekend. Three Days Grace was their opening band. The concert was phenomenal. Their voices were even better in person. The crowd was full of amazing energy.
Later in the night we stopped at a local club where we became friends with some of the workers. Ghostface Killah was a guest there. He gets up and raps some songs we knew growing up. It was the perfect ending to our night.
The problem with nights like this is I catch a bit of the Monday blues. Getting back into routine mode and the hustle and bustle of life. With that being said it’s always good to look back and say to yourself I am going to “Live My Life” today, tomorrow, 5 years from now. I am going to enjoy the small things. Not sweat the small stuff. Love people for who they are, not what I want them to be and appreciate yourself too.
Cheers to living your life and let’s try to make it through the Monday Blues!
Saturday, February 23, 2019
Water Lantern Festival Danbury CT 2019
This event really looks amazing! Food trucks. Design your lantern. Really unique.
Friday, February 22, 2019
Communication Is Key
Sometimes we have to take a step back and communicate better. It happened the other day. A minor disagreement and it didn’t seem to make sense and I asked what’s really bothering you? They turned the whole situation around. The person apologized . Said they had a rough day and they were taking out their frustrations on me.
Now I have been taught how to communicate and use Imago- a mirroring way of communicating. Ithelps diffuse and validate emotions. It helps you realize that “Most of the time when someone is upset it has NOTHING to do with YOU!”
I have been trying to teach my kids to communicate better too. To PROCESS before REACTING. If we all lived by that maybe we would be more passionate and sympathetic towards one another.
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Spread Happiness
“You turned soft, what happened? You used to set my butt straight” my client said to me on our weekly call. He was right. I used to react when he came off forceful. I laughed and said “I am at peace in my life. No need for me to reply aggressively.”
It was true. I have been at peace and calm. Happy, content. I have goals set and am aiming towards them. My girls are very happy and loving. My job has been extremely busy so I have been grateful. I have fun weekends planned. I am content. At peace.
Happy!
Happy!
When was the last time you were truly happy?
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Monday, February 18, 2019
Stamford Restaurant Week Starts Today!
Stamford Restaurant week starts today. Check out which restaurants are participating!
Restaurant week is always a great time to check out new spots for a great price. Which restaurant will you be trying?
Everyone You Meet Has A Purpose
I try to live by the “no regrets” theory in life. Have no regrets. Everything happens for a reason. But really here’s a true statement. Everyone you meet teaches you something! We just may confuse what the lesson is.
Great article:
6 REASONS WHY WE MEET PEOPLE FOR A REASON – NOT BY ACCIDENT
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Hookah in CT
There’s something about being in a dark room with your feet up and enjoying Hookah. It totally puts me in a relaxing phase. I have been going once a month. End of night. Before heading home. Most of them allow you to bring in your own drinks and liquor if you like. It’s a fun way to hang out and chill out a little. My favorite flavor is mint and orange. It’s mild yet tasty.
Connecticut offers multiple places to try Hookah.
Below are some of my favorite spots;
What spots do you recommend?
There’s No Catch...Just Have Some Fun
After over a year my divorce was finally finalized in November. The journey taught me a lot. I definitely wasn’t the same person from when the process started. I actually grew to love the person I became through it all. My ex is an awesome father to our girls but there’s a time in your life when you have to accept when your journey with someone has ended.
Once you learn to be alone. Really fully alone you are kindof reborn again. You start to become selfish. And selfish not in a bad way. It’s your time to date yourself. Be your own friend. I started to make a bucket list. I started to explore new food and restaurants. New events. I started to wake up and say wow what a great life. I am happy. My kid’s are happy. Life is good.
You have to be able to sort through a lot to reach that point.
Now a single mom to three girls, 10 yrs and under. I may never want to marry again. I don’t want anymore children. I just want fun. Happiness. Good adventures. I want to wake up and go to bed with a smile.
I am not saying you have to be divorced to have this mentality. I am saying going through the process helped me reach this mentality. Enjoy your life. Embrace it.
Seek happiness and let’s have some fun. Where everyday you wake up and look in the mirror and smile. Where stress isn’t preventable but it is part of life. Try to let it roll off your back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)