Have You Tried A Lychee?

I won’t lie. The first time I heard about a Lychee was from a drink menu- Lychee Martini and it was delicious.  I have then seen them in a can. Then my dad found them fresh at a local store. They are a Chinese fruit. My girls love them. The shell is hard. You peel it and it’s firm yet a bit sticky inside. Sweet with a mild bitter taste. 

There’s a ton of heath benefits too from eating them. 

https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2016/01/18/lychee-health-benefits.aspx

People Come & Go

In time it makes sense. You have to just get through it. Love those who stay. Be grateful for the memories for  those who don’t. 

I always say when a journey with someone ends nothing pulls you back. No regrets. It’s when you still hold on that your lesson isn’t over. 

Watermelon Festival In Torrington CT July 27th

Learn more here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/july-27-torrington-watermelon-festival-tickets-60344710654

What Reality Do You Want?

Let’s write your story. Picture it in your head. We all have a vision of how our life should or will be. What’s your goals? What reality are you fighting for?I will share mine:

I buy my own house

Grow my business 

Fall in love

Raise my girls to be good and genuine people

Seek out all my adventures of life with a person who loves every part of me

Travel the world 

Buy my beach house

Publish my books

Grow old and grey and happy surrounded by my spouse and kids and their kids (if they have any) family and friends

Die peacefully knowing I lived the best life I could

Now you go. What’s your story?

Happy Tequila Day!

How do you like your tequila? My favorite is in a margarita. Check out how some places in Connecticut are celebrating National Tequila Day!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.courant.com/ctnow/food-drink/hc-ctnow-national-tequila-day-2019-20190722-4scmtidnanf3betxbswgbpb4hm-story.html%3foutputType=amp

What Are You Losing vs. Gaining?

“Life will pay whatever price you ask of it. You’re getting what you’re asking for. Whatever you focus on in life is going to happen. When you decide what’s most important for you, your brain goes after it.”*

*http://www.success-guide.com/

YouTube: Beautiful People

Feel Good Song: Wolves Without Teeth

Lyrics are pretty deep. I love listening to the words of songs. If you dig deeper you can find the meaning. 

https://www.popsongprofessor.com/blog/2015/06/20/what-does-wolves-without-teeth-by-of-monsters-and-men-mean

What’s Gonna Make YOU Happy?

No one can make decisions for you. What ever decisions you make please be sure they will make you happy. 💗

Dating Humor: Love Some Garlic Bread

Listen To Your Inner Voice

You’re a free spirit. Hopeless romantic and flower child. That my friend I am or would at least like to be. Anything else that doesn’t serve that purpose I become defensive again and I defend my soul and purpose. I get upset or mad and well that doesn’t serve me well. 

Peace. Love. Respect. Happiness. Honestly. Clear conscious. 

I have been through a lot in my life. A lot more than most people. I won’t have to share all my wounds. But in time my healing has helped me be able to help you. 
So I write and share. 

A girlfriend messaged me early this morning. She said a path you’re on isn’t the best one for you right now. I want you to stop and refocus. 

When someone’s intuition aligns with yours you have to listen. I didn’t argue with her. She was right. 

Sometimes you have to give things time. Give it space.  Let it work how it’s meant to work out not forced. 

Are You Torn?

I am very upfront. As you can tell. I usually go after what I want. But some situations don’t work out like that. I have learned this past month to just let things be. I have to stop looking for an answer today when I know it’s not possible. I have to let life ride out. I have to be patient and happy and what’s meant to be will

be. Being patient. Knowing whatever will be is my destiny. Means stop chasing or stop rushing. Let things be for a while. Everything always works out how it is suppose to. 

Be Sure To Be Giving The Right Things Your Attention

Feel Good Song: Forest

Please Go Do What You Like...

A relationship doesn’t define you. I know it’s hard to imagine that when you have spent 20-30-40 years with someone. A healthy relationship is when two individuals have separate identities yet come together to share a life together. 

Let me explain. 

We get caught up. We expect our significant other to make us happy. Because maybe one day they did. Maybe they were nice and loving. Maybe they looked at us like no one else was in the world but you. Maybe they put you first. 

Then life changes. Kids. Work. Bills. Responsibilities. Your relationship changes. At this point someone has detached. Someone resents the other. So you both just get by. You act like that power couple outside the house to others but inside are broken together. 

It’s a cycle. I am not here to convince anyone to get a divorce. I am here to say that your happiness is based solely on you. You’re an individual. Your significant other is an individual. You have responsibilities together yet you can still have a life separate. 

You need to still do the things you love. If you love golf then do it. If your significant other doesn’t don’t push them to love golf. Do it without them. Have space. Have the courage to say you do what you like. I do what I like. We then do what we like together and it’s ok. 

People don’t do that. They consume themselves into one another then get mad when they want to play golf but their spouse or girlfriend doesn’t. 

Second time around is even a bit harder. Children are different ages. Life experiences are different. I love picking fruit with my kids. I love farms. I love wine tasting. I am not going to find a guy who is going to want to do all those things always with me and it’s actually ok. So I do them while they go to a sports game with buddies or they go do things with their own kids or they go play golf. 

You have to have your own hobbies. Passions. Excitement. You have to be an individual. You consume yourself with someone that you end up resenting them. 

You’re with someone because you love that person 

Because that person makes your life better. They give you hope. Make your heart happy. Make you feel important. Make you feel like you matter. Love you and your core. Want to protect you. Want to help you grow as a person. They bring out the best in you.  They don’t want to do this journey in life without you. 

You aren’t with someone because of routine or an obligation to stay together. 

If you love golf and I don’t then please go play golf. I will still love you. 

Souls...They Have This Way

Start Today...Start Now!

I made a list. Three months ago of what I needed to change in my life. I set goals. I found that list the other day. I can’t believe the things I had accomplished on that list without even remembering to. 

When you want something so bad you put your energy and soul into it. You get this strengthen to do so. To be your all. To say no more I want my life to be a certain way. 

I still have more on my list to accomplish. I will also have more on my list but it’s how life is. Create goals. Accomplish them and create new ones. 

Don’t let anyone stand in your way. Don’t do things just to make others happy. Your future self will thank you. 

I believe in you. Start to believe in yourself. Give yourself the life you deserve. Set goals and achieve them. 

If you miss someone tell them. If you love someone tell them. If you want to travel do so. If you want to eliminate debt apply every extra dollar to it until you do. 

There are no restrictions or road blocks. Only the ones you put up. 

Dating Humor: As Single As They Come

Oh the joys of being single. I saw a friend who asked if I want to remarry. Of course I do. I want companionship. I want someone everyday to wake up to and to love me and I love them. I want to choose them everyday and they choose me. Where they have no doubt in their mind and when they see me I make their heart and souls happy. I want to give them something to look forward to. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic. Maybe I believe that we shouldn’t settle.  But for now I will just stay single until my future significant other appears. 

Laughter...It’s So Good For You!

Find those people. You know the ones who make

you laugh and make life a little better. Yeah those people. Hold on to them!

This Has Nothing To Do With You...

This is a reminder so you can have peace within that most of conflict that was reflected on to you had nothing to do with you. 

Crazy right? Well it’s true. Now we are not perfect. I will be the first to admit it. Even though I like to believe I am almost perfect...just kidding. 

This took me a very long time to understand. I tend to want to fix people. You know “let’s just be happy and live this magical life” well it wasn’t happening and I couldn’t understand why. I couldn’t understand if I loved you and was good to you that should be enough and make you so happy. 

Wrong. 

Because even though I am happy with myself we all have internal demons. We all have issues that we need to resolve. I can’t do that for someone. I can’t heal you if you don’t want to be healed or don’t even recognize you need healing. 

I have a friend who I swear I can predict the outcome of their life and no matter what I say they don’t have enough courage in them to make a change to get their happiness. I don’t get it. But I can’t change it for them. It just makes you feel bad because deep down they want to escape but aren’t strong enough to. 

I know people who still suffer from pain from

their childhood and up bringing. They haven’t healed. I know people who have been rejected by their significant other and now it’s hard to trust and let people in. 

We all need healing. Me included. It’s an everyday struggle and goal but reality is majority of people’s fights and outbursts and arguments have nothing to do with you. It’s their own internal fight projected on to you.  

Did You Know: Are They Really Happy?

Let’s Talk About This...

I wrote about this before here. It’s called validation. It’s not talking people out of how they feel. It’s validating them so they feel heard and understood. Your feelings are never wrong. It’s how you feel. Once people accept and validate that your feelings are real that’s when you can be at peace. It’s a process. Not easy to do but try it next time. It’s a huge step to making someone feel important. We all want to be heard and understood. We all want our feelings to count. Not to be dismissed, made fun of or told they aren’t important. 

Feel Good Song: Saying Goodbye by Dave Matthews

Reveal The Best Version of YOU!

Don’t change anyone. Bring out the best version of them. 

Feel Good Song: Pursuit Of Happiness- Remix

It’s Ok For Things To End...

We get caught into this need of pleasing others. Then it hits us. That one day we say what about me. What about what I need. What about the love I deserve. Why am I just settling or just getting by. 

That’s when you let people go and take control of your life. 

Happy Taco Tuesday!

Because regular Tuesdays are boring. I mean did anyone ever like Tuesdays? But now that they added Taco to it we now have something to look forward to on Tuesdays. 

Where’s your favorite Taco Tuesday Spot?

Blame It On The Retrograde Humor

Happy Anniversary Evaritos

Evaritos one year anniversary celebration is on Wednesday July 24th. 

https://www.evaritos.com/

Today’s Goal: Love Yourself First...

Have respect to your journey and your path. When you look within you learn to no longer settle in life. When you love your core you’re not willing to just get by in life. You seek adventure and passion and  won’t waste time on who ever doesn’t respect you like you should be respected. 

Tuesday Motivation...The Signs Were Always There

The universe always has your back. Remember that. 

You Only Can Control How You React

You’re Always One Decision Away To Happiness

Read this again...you have to face it. You have to say ok this is my current situation and how can I leave or change to make myself happy. Only you can do it. No one else. 

We think we stay in situations because we have no choice. I swear divorce taught me a lot. It taught me so many people stay in unhappy situations because they feel stuck. It’s an awful feeling and awful way to look at life. You are never stuck. You always can have a better life. Always. 

You have to love yourself enough to know what you deserve. 

Feel Good Song: Goodbyes

“I’m no good at goodbyes”

Emotional Connection Is Good For Your Soul

Never be afraid to say what you need. Never be afraid to leave if your needs aren’t being met. 

Material Things Are Temporary...

This thing called love...well that always lingers in you. 

It’s Ok To Ask For Help...It’s Ok To Not Be Ok!

She’s amazing. Probably one of my favorite people. She and I have been friends for over 10 years. We met from our ex’s being friends. We started to hang out more than they did.  She’s just full of life and love and if she didn’t live so far we would be raising our kids together. We have had some awesome nights together. We have partied hard yet she’s watches my kids whenever I needed. She’s really incredible. She called me the other day. Asking how I am,how are the kids and then she says causally I have breast cancer. 

I was walking into the bank froze and walked out. I know she’s going to be ok. I know they found it early but my heart sank. She’s the girl you want to have all

the happiness in the world. She’s the girl that always put everyone first. 

She knows my past with cancer so asked if I had any advice. I did. I said don’t be so strong. It’s ok to be sad and weak. It’s ok to ask for help.  You don’t have to do it all on your own. 

She responded I know. I said no promise me you will

feel. 

It’s like anything in life. We fight or flight. We go into survival mode and settle. We act like we’re ok when we aren’t. We are scared of change and what’s ahead. We must feel. We guard our emotions and I get it but it’s damaging. 

Not everything in life is ok and that is ok. Not everyone has to be so strong. It’s ok to be scared and afraid or mad. I didn’t want help when I had cancer. I was grateful I had it from my family and my ex’s. Friends helped too but I wanted my routine to be the same. I didn’t want anyone to look at me and think oh poor Jay. Stupid I know. I learned now. I learned it’s ok to ask for help and feel. It’s ok to not always put up a tough front. It’s ok to be weak and communicate what you need. 

You’re Allowed To Have Moments Of Weakness:

https://thoughtcatalog.com/becca-martin/2017/04/youre-allowed-to-have-moments-of-weakness/

Live in the Moment...

Live in the moment. What will be will make it’s way to be. It’s all part of our journey and story. 💛

The Calm Before The Storm...What’s Your Escape

When you need to squeeze in some zen before your day then stop by your local beach. Today the sky looked fake. The water was low tied and calm. The sky was perfect. It was a great way to start our day. Even if it was only for a short period of time and before the weather called for later showers and bad weather. 

I have a long weekend getaway coming up and I texted the girls to say I can’t wait to go to the beach early morning or late afternoon. It’s my favorite part of our trip. We pack a cooler. Wine. Food. Play frisbee. Walk the beach. Laugh. Chat. It’s so therapeutic. We do it for hours. 

What do you do to escape?

Happily Ever After Is Up To Me..

It’s not attached to a person anymore. That’s not fair when it is. It’s so much pressure. So much goes into it. So many what ifs. I can’t deal with that anymore. 

I can’t deal with the not knowing where I stand or what will happen. I have tried to figure it out and well I just can’t. 

One person always loves someone more than the other. It’s normal. It’s not fair to be single and say I can’t have my happily ever after. I refuse to say that. 

I will work on it.  Alone or With someone. Regardless. I deserve it. Just like you do.  

Cheers to finding your Happily Ever After as I find mine!

Did You Know....Where’s My Car Parked?

We have been coming to Calf Pasture Beach in Norwalk since May and today was the first time I noticed these signs in the parking lot. Cute and clever so you can remember where you’re parked. 

Feel Good Song: Ready

Bartending Competition Tonight At El Segundo

Monday Motivation: Let Go & Embrace What Is

Let go of the idea of how things should be. Embrace the life in your head and heart. You can’t fight what path life is taking you on. Embrace the change!

It Happens...Deal & Heal

💜

Beauty Isn’t Just On The Surface

Your core, your personality and soul must be beautiful too. 

You’re Simply The Best...That’s The Goal

The goal is to find someone who brings out the best in us. Who encourages us to be our best. To be happy. To be real, our true self and loves us for that. There’s truth in our life that who you surround yourself with is who you become. It goes for our relationships too. Love this article. 

8 Signs You've Found Someone Who Brings Out the Best in You

https://puckermob.com/relationships/8-signs-youve-found-someone-who-brings-out-the-best-in-you/

Relationship Goals...

Can I Have Your Attention?

Awesome reminder!

Feel Good Song: Good As Hell

Jones Family Farm in Shelton

We go every year. It’s my favorite. I love going to farms and picking fruits or pumpkin patches. I love tractor rides and hay rides. I know sounds silly but it teaches you a lot.

First these farms are amazing. So clean and manicured. It’s showing us, the kids how a product goes from the field to the store. It’s hard work. You have to appreciate it. You’re under a net picking fruit. We actually pay to do this while farmers do this all the time for a living. It’s kindof funny how that works out. 

Second it doesn’t get anymore organic than this. Picking blueberries are my favorite because they taste amazing. They are super sweet and so good for you. You can eat them fresh or frozen and they are just as good. Also blueberries last a bit longer than fresh strawberries. 

It’s a great outing and you get to enjoy the “fruits of your labor”...see what I did there. 

I want to go back and try their vineyard. I heard they have strawberry wine. 

Be sure to call ahead to see what time picking takes place and what field.

https://www.jonesfamilyfarms.com/

St. Ann’s Italian Festival July 25-28th 2019

Great festival. Love the pizza fritta. A lot of fun for the kids. Check it out on July 25th-28th. 

https://m.facebook.com/events/norwalk-connecticut/st-ann-feast/388100601801964/

Focus On Being Happy

Be happy. Be around people who are happy. No explanations. Do things that make your heart and soul happy. 

This Morning Zen...Well Sort Of

I did my normal morning routine. Up too early. Worked out outside. Got my 3,000 steps in and then....

I said they could join... By 7:05 am we were all in the pool. 

I told them no toys. We will exercise listen to the birds and music. 

No jumping or diving. No screaming. Not only for our own peacefulness but to be courteous to our neighbors since we are up way too early for a Sunday. They loved it. They asked if we can do it every day. 

Then toys got added and well it started to take a turn so we got out to make breakfast and as I thought why can’t we just be 100% peaceful I reminded myself that they are children. They are restless and their minds  are all over the place and it’s normal. So I said we would try this again another morning and they all were very happy. 


We don’t have many weeks left of summer so this routine is awesome for me because it’s new and temporary. When Fall approaches I will have to get a new routine. Until then I love waking up and getting outside. 

What routines have you started this Summer?

Moms Support One Another...Always

We’re all trying the best we can. Be sure to encourage one another. 💗