Thursday, July 5, 2012
Parents Stop Comparing!
As an adult I see more and more how parents cause so much harm when they compare their children to one another and I do not mean just their young children but their adult children as well. As children we are compared with siblings without even thinking it will do harm, who walked first, who is more musically talented, who is better in sports etc...What parents tend to forget is that when you carry on as your children are adults it is causing harm in these siblings relationships.
I notice it doesn't just happen with the same sex children either, if you have a sons and daughtesr I see parents comparing what their children do with their own families and it is wrong. We are ALL different. I come from a family of three girls. All three of us are very different. To compare is silly because what one person enjoys is not what another person would enjoy.
I started reading some articles about this and it happens alot when one sibling is more successful than another or if a parent feels one child should have the experience another child is having. I say Parents Stop! Love your children for who they are, be glad they are all different, just because one person is doing something does not mean you need to push the other to do the same. What parents do not realize is that you are causing competition between these siblings, you are causing jealousy and we all know jealously does not lead to anything good. You are causing them to compete which is what causes tensions in families. What you need to do is push your child to be independent, rely on themselves and be original.
It is ok for one person to have more or do more over another as long as they work hard to earn it. Just because a parent thinks they know what a child needs doesn't mean it is what the child wants. Back off and let your children be individuals. If you want them to get along them stop trying to make them get along!
Especially with your adult children. Stop comparing what they do with their own children, stop making them copy everything their sibling does, stop making everyone feel like one is better than the other. You are causing damage in their relationship and friendships! To be a happy family stay out of it, stop pushing your kids to do what you think they should do. That is what creates a happy family: when you fully accept what and who your children really are!
I notice it doesn't just happen with the same sex children either, if you have a sons and daughtesr I see parents comparing what their children do with their own families and it is wrong. We are ALL different. I come from a family of three girls. All three of us are very different. To compare is silly because what one person enjoys is not what another person would enjoy.
I started reading some articles about this and it happens alot when one sibling is more successful than another or if a parent feels one child should have the experience another child is having. I say Parents Stop! Love your children for who they are, be glad they are all different, just because one person is doing something does not mean you need to push the other to do the same. What parents do not realize is that you are causing competition between these siblings, you are causing jealousy and we all know jealously does not lead to anything good. You are causing them to compete which is what causes tensions in families. What you need to do is push your child to be independent, rely on themselves and be original.
It is ok for one person to have more or do more over another as long as they work hard to earn it. Just because a parent thinks they know what a child needs doesn't mean it is what the child wants. Back off and let your children be individuals. If you want them to get along them stop trying to make them get along!
Especially with your adult children. Stop comparing what they do with their own children, stop making them copy everything their sibling does, stop making everyone feel like one is better than the other. You are causing damage in their relationship and friendships! To be a happy family stay out of it, stop pushing your kids to do what you think they should do. That is what creates a happy family: when you fully accept what and who your children really are!
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