I had surgery for Thyroid Cancer. Whenever I told and tell someone about it I found/find myself comforting them, like "hey it isn't a big deal. I had the surgery and after treatments and regulating my medicine everything will be fine." Every time I heard my self say it I thought what the hell is wrong with you. You're a new mother again, you dealt with cancer while pregnant, your body has changed, your treatments involve being away from your husband and kids for a while, your meds regulating means on your bad days you need to still smile so your kids don't know you are sick. You hid your scar so people don't pity you. You have to go to Yale and sit through appointments about what is happening to your body that you can not control. The month of June you have a calendar filled with notes and appointments to heal yourself.
Yep, What the hell is wrong with me. I do not expect people to understand. I do not want pity. I do want this to be a lesson to always put yourself in the other person's shoes when you expect something from them or get angry with them or are not getting your way. We all do not want or need the same things at the same time in life.
Right now I need to live for today. I need to wake up and take care of my kids and check my calendar for what appointment I have or meds I need to work and prepare what's for dinner. I cannot think about tomorrow. There is too much still going on and needed of me for tomorrow that makes me too tired to think about.
I am strong person, I have self control and like to be happy and don't play the "woe" me card. But today I learned the next time someone says it is a big deal with what I am going through I will agree with them. And the next time I expect something from someone else that is going through a rough time I will think twice and put myself in their shoes. Because I don't expect people to understand, and you should not either, but I do expect people to think before they speak and to have a little patience.
