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Tuesday, July 2, 2019
Dealing With The Emotion Of...Rejection
I was 15 the last time I remember being rejected. That’s way too long ago. So I had a situation stir up and it triggered me. I could not figure it out. It got me so mad and then it hit me. I was being rejected. The pain I was feeling was rejection.
Now let’s be real. Anything you don’t get in life is a blessing. Really is. But rejection isn’t something I am used to or anyone for that matter. This person still wanted to be in my life on their terms and I swear I was a beast every time we reached out to one another. Even though I wanted this person in my life I didn't want the set backs attached to it. I had to ask myself why does this person trigger me so much. It hit me...rejection. I even told them my anger is due to you rejecting me and wanting me in your life on your terms and to be honest no one has control over me like that. Ever.
It brought me pain every single time I thought our roles in eachother life could ever be what it once was.
“It activated the same areas of our brain as physical pain! That's right – rejection causes you literal pain.”
*
Can you imagine... pain from rejection. I was feeling pure pain.
I am very in tune with how I feel but this person made me bring out a side of me I didn’t know existed, because I don’t normally deal with this type of emotion. I will admit it’s a lesson. It’s growth. It’s part of my journey.
When I vented to my friend about this he told me it’s ok,
“You have to look at rejection as a$$holes, everybody has 1, but really it's ok to face it. Face it and move on,”
That’s the type of friends I love. Real and straight to the point with humor attached.
Whether relationship or work or life or whatever. Rejection happens. It’s what you do with it that matters.
Some people don’t care. They are constantly rejected and move on. It’s pretty amazing. Their ego and self esteem isn’t affected at all by rejection. To them
Some people don’t care. They are constantly rejected and move on. It’s pretty amazing. Their ego and self esteem isn’t affected at all by rejection. To them
“It is what it is”. Some people aren’t used to it and it takes time to process. That would be me or you. Some people grow from it and later can laugh about it to be grateful because it was a blessing. Which should be all
of us really because nothing in life happens without something better happening. I realized that early on too.
Once I realized the emotion I felt was rejection, it had me thinking. There were times I rejected people. Some reacted, some didn’t. It wasn’t my intentions to hurt them. It just wasn’t a fit. Whether when it came to relationships or hiring them. Then I thought about all the emotionally wounded people I met and know. Rejection was the cause to most. It all made sense. It all boils now to being rejected, not accepted or not being approved or getting what you want. I had guy friends who felt rejected from their significant others and it causes a lot of damage to them. Making it hard for them to fully be in another relationship. Also makes them weak to that person and that person has complete control over time.
People who don’t get the job they wanted causes damage. Not getting into the college you wanted causes damage. Rejection messes with your worth. Self esteem. Goals. List goes on.
“Of course, rejection causes us more than some emotional pain. It hurts our self-esteem, causes us anger or sadness, and knocks us off course from feeling stability in our lives. But there’s something you need to know. Most of these side-effects are self-inflicted.”*
Regardless in life when someone doesn’t bring out your highest good you have to not allow them to remain in your life. You have to set them free. You have to be strong enough to walk away and be at peace. You don’t settle for what they are willing to give you. You are the winner lottery ticket- never forget that! Rejection doesn’t define you, you define you!
Whenever a new emotion triggers you it’s your job to figure out why so you can grow as a person. You owe it to yourself to heal anything that isn’t bringing out your best self.
“Rejection can strengthen our mentality and contribute to our future success, if we only let it.”
I had to look into this more. I had to recognize and learn more so I found this article below.
Monday, July 1, 2019
No Love Story Ever Ends Well...
It’s true. You have to be able to open yourself up and risk being hurt. Nothing good doesn’t come without taking a chance or a risk. Take that chance. Make that risk. So it hurts, it’s ok. Get over it and try again ❤️
Dealing With The Emotion Of...Fear
It’s important to understand your triggers. I woke up with intentions of a great day. I took two kids to beach while we waited for camp. I was content. I had my whole morning planned.
Then bam the morning went to crap. It’s not a big deal. Minor set backs but I was very mad. I had to take a step back and say ok what’s the deal J.
It was fear.
I have a minor simple medical procedure today. Nothing urgent but yet the thought of a doctor doing anything to my body brings back all my past medical experiences and my body doesn’t want to deal. It’s not the fear of pain it’s fear of here we go again. So I finally said what’s this you’re feeling and it was fear. And it was ok for me to have fear. It’s ok to be nervous and not want to deal with anything out of routine.
Listen my stories aren’t to share my business. My stories are to teach you that when you are triggered. When something is off you must get to the root of why.
Today was fear, fear made me get upset over other things and it’s normal. I am lucky to recognize it early within thirty minutes actually. Being single you don’t have a companion to vent to. That sets you back to handle your issues and emotions on your own. Yes family and friends help but it’s different. You have to be good to you.
You owe it to yourself to do the same. Be intune with your emotions.
Fear is a lot of things. You fear change. You fear pain. I fear the results. We all have fear that prevents us from things. This situation had me be short tempered. Fear kept me in certain situations longer than I should have been in before. Fear also had me run from situations I wish I handled differently.
Fear is a big component that can hurt us.
Fear is scary but not knowing why you feel off is scarier.
Oh Happy First Of The Month....Oh Happy July!
I can’t believe it’s July. I feel the last couple months flew by and have been a blur.
Oh July...suntan lotion, beaches, volleyball, vaca, pool time, picnics, fireworks, great memories to be made. I hope this month is your best yet. I hope you wake up with sun kissed skin and embrace the warmth of the warm air. I hope it’s the new month of growth, love and happiness. I hope you enjoy walks with sand in your toes and fun cocktails on the dock for happy hour. I hope you let your kids stay up late to collect lightening bugs and eat ice pops while watching the sunset.
We all need sunshine and Vitamin D. It’s good for your soul. It’s good for your mind. It’s good to be July!
Sunday, June 30, 2019
In The End What Matters Most...Is Them
I may not be perfect. I will admit it. I am not my best version of me yet even though I am always working on it. But there’s somethings I am...I am a great mom and I care a lot about people, especially my kids and family. I am always a good friend and choose peace over anything else.
As you go through life you face challenges. It’s unavoidable. We will always have challenges. The happiest moments is when I am with them. These three love me unconditionally because in the end what matters is me being the Mom they need. Everything else in my life is an addition. A bonus. Not a need. They are my need.
As you go through your days you have to think about what matters. Who matters. How you want your life to be. I just want peace and happiness. I want to make sure my kids always look up to me and come to me with whatever they need whenever they need me. Everything else isn’t important. Everything else will
come in time. Everything else can come and go and I won’t care. These three will always matter.
Be True To Who You Are...Always
Never change your core values for anyone or any situation. Be true to who you are. When you do you become happier. Calmer. You can sleep better. You feel rested. Even your face and skin become brighter. When you are true to your core self you reap a lot of benefits. Your soul is content and everything around you becomes aligned as well. You have a sense of peace which then helps you be intuitive. You can align with people you care about. You can almost read minds and predict certain situations because the chaos doesn’t confuse the brain. Being at peace calms the brain. You can connect more with people who are meant to be in your path.
The Spot Deli In Norwalk
This place used to be Winfield Street Deli in Norwalk. We had some time to spare and woke up too late for breakfast so we popped in. Staff is sweet and egg sandwiches are great prices.
They toasted the hard roll and bacon was delicious. Probably one of the best BEC I have had in a while.
Be sure to check them out.
Boca Oyster Bar in Bridgeport Rooftop Bar & Restaurant
This place is beautiful! I have been wanting to check it out so when a friend asked to go for drinks on the best night of the week you go someplace you can enjoy being outside and we so enjoyed ourselves.
We didn’t have reservations but sat and ate at the bar. Keep in mind the bar menu is different and more limited than their main menu so if you want dinner be sure to make reservations. We didn’t know fireworks were coming on. We so lucked out it was the perfect night.
We got burrata and goat cheese salad with grilled chicken. Was really good.
In a couple of weeks their outside bar should be open.
Then the fireworks came on. After we hung at the bar and met some people. Was so much fun. Great ambiance. Great pricing and fun atmosphere. Loved being on the water and it’s so close to Norwalk. We can’t wait to go back when the outdoor bar opens.
Great place, great view and will definitely be one of our summer hangouts.
Friday, June 28, 2019
Friday Motivation...
I had to laugh seeing this. My true core wants peace and love and happiness but for some reason this week all these men tested my patience and well if I only said the above more often I could let the true me out and avoid some unnecessary drama.
A friend once said it’s ok to not be so tough...I realized that I don’t seem to select the right people who allow me to let my guard down so I use a toughness to protect myself. We all do. We all have been hurt. We all have had people taken advantage of our kindness and it’s ok! It’s ok because deep down if we could we would probably do it again. We had to learn from it.
Let’s all practice some peace this weekend. I intend to detach from my phone and embrace the beauty of silence and good vibes with some girlfriends. So as my day comes to an end may you know that it’s ok to say No and Fk off to people who need and deserve to hear it. It’s ok to have been hurt and get up and move on. It’s ok to start again. It’s ok to be tough when you have to be. It’s ok to do whatever you want because it’s your life. Read that again...it’s your life!
Cheers to the weekend!
Docktails & Oysters June 29th
Enjoy cocktails and oysters tomorrow night on the dock at Norm Bloom & Son
Learn more here https://seaport.org/
Be Careful Who You Let In
People always show their true colors early on. You may not pay attention but they do show them. Study who they are. Who they associate themselves with. Who they spent their years with. You can tell by those things the type of people they are.
We control who we let in.
Caffe’ Social in Norwalk
I have been wanting to go here since they opened. So when my girls said they were hungry and we had some time to spare I had the perfect spot to take them.
It’s so pretty inside. Really is. Great inspirational ambiance.
You can tell love went into this place. They have awesome pasteries and muffins on the counter. We sat at the countertop and the staff were super nice and friendly.
My southern burrito was delicious. The girls got eggs and pancakes and my daughter’s favorite thing was their homemade Hash Browns. The portion sizes are huge. You totally get your moneys worth. Everything tasted fresh. It is located in Sono.
Girls said they want to go back. Cute spot for sure!
Focus On Peace...Always!
Sometimes when there is tension amongst people you can almost see their souls fighting. It’s crazy but true. They become defensive and angry. Hurt triggers that. Pain and anger too. Rejection. Neglect. Whatever emotion you are feeling you have to try to stop it.
It’s like your soul wants to protect you. Doesn’t want to allow someone access to any wounds they have caused. You have to fight for your inner peace. You have to love yourself enough to say I deserve better, walk away and aim for better.
If you don’t love yourself enough for peace then no one else ever will give you peace.
Let Me Be Clear...Thank You For Your Truths
All it took was a text. A line I reread over and over to finally say no more. “I didn’t want to give you any false impressions.”
It still makes me angry. I didn’t ask for this person to come back in my life. They chose to. I never wanted this person to get the best of me yet again they did. To be a friend on their terms. The ironic thing is I woke up to another text from someone else who likes to come in and out of my life that said “I thought I should let you know” and was actually grateful for these truths. I yet again wasn’t nice and said to leave me alone for good. Two different people. Two honest blunt messages that lifted huge weights off my shoulders. Thank you for your truths and for clearing my path. Thank you for allowing me to remove you both from my life and no we can’t be friends.
Everyone’s true colors always come out.
When the truth comes out you have two options...you run or you stay and think things will change but trust me they never do. So run. And I don’t mean it in a bad way I mean it in a way that to take the hint, clue, blunt response and move on with your life. At my stage in life I can say ok please don’t reach out to me again. I am not tied to anyone for any reason. What doesn’t bring me peace must be go away.
These are not situations to hurt you. You get hurt when you think things will change so you stick around. I have learned the hard way...they don’t change. These situations help you build wisdom, character and experience so you don’t make the same mistakes again.
I always told my girlfriends people always come back. It happens all the time. Not once can I say it hasn’t happened. One way or another people manage to circle
back in. This is your only time to have control- if you allow them back in or not. That’s your power. Don’t become weak stand your ground.
These situations clear your path so you can open up room for people who actually deserve to have a place in your life, mind, & heart.
False hope. False impressions. I want to be honest. Let me tell you the man I really am. All these words actually spared me of continuing to care about people who didn’t deserve my time or for me to care about them, or my friendship, not then nor now.
Thursday, June 27, 2019
Find Peace...
I sleep with a big Buddha near my bed. It’s super cute and happy and calming. There’s this need for peace. Need to clear bad energy. I don’t like chaos. I don’t function well with instability. I like calmness, fun, make me feel good and at peace situations. I like situations I can be me.
When you aren’t aligned with your core values or your soul for that matter you aren’t at peace. Peace is an everyday practice. Need. We really should strive for more of it. It helps relax you and guide you. Like meditating. Clear you mind. Body and soul. I came across this article and felt their tips were helpful.
“Life is as simple or complicated as we make it.” Donna Smallin
Cherry Picking In Pennsylvania
“I want to go cherry picking” my dad said one day. That’s how it all started. I googled places and it was in New York then it hit me we could do it in Pennsylvania while we were away. I found a farm and when we got there they said they had Sour Cherries available for picking. What? I didn’t even know about these types of cherries. Well they are super sour but perfect for baking. It isn’t easy to pick cherries because they are in trees. So we are shaking branches and putting my middle one on our shoulders. The farm was beautiful and the experience was a lot of fun
Tonight my mom has everyone over for dinner and she made a pie with the cherries we picked and it was delicious.
Of course being silly I played this song while we ate dessert.
Recipe was really easy to make. Check it out here https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/classic-sour-cherry-pie-with-lattice-crust-242514/amp
It’s Ok To Evolve
You’re never the same person you were 10 years ago or even 6 months ago. You’re always changing and growing. Keep going!
Spiritual Humor...That Would Explain It
Some times you can blame it on the retrograde, some times on the planets but other times it’s how people treat you or trigger an emotion in you. Not everyone is out to hurt you but sometimes taking a break from
them helps you readjust and reflect.
Cleanse Your Soul...
We are all spiritual and intuitive. It’s when noise around us clogs our energy we can’t connect with our true self. Clear away old energy. Energy that no longer serves your purpose or makes you feel yourself. It’s ok to put things to rest.
Hey Stamford Food Festival August 2019
This festival is so much fun! I went last year and we had a blast.
Start Your Day Smiling!
I saw this and signed up for it. It’s fun, feel good news that is emailed to you every morning. With great stories and quotes. It really helps you start your day with a smile.
Sign up here: https://www.inspiremore.com
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
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