Everything in life takes up space. Space in our life. Our thoughts. Our hearts. What do you need to release to make space for other things?
Tuesday, September 3, 2019
And All This Time Amazing Things Were Happening
I was sad. At one point I was really just getting by. It’s like the rug got pulled out from under me. As this happens you start using coping mechanisms. Distractions. Crying. Sad songs. Have you ever done this? If you have ever been hurt or sad it’s awful. AWFUL!!!
But then amazing things were happening...
As I was healing and not just from the last year but really from everything I never really dealt with I started to have a better life.
A huge house project went underway and completed. I met some awesome people. I focused on strengthening my friendships with people. My girls became calmer and happier. I traveled. Tried new restaurants. Went to new places. Blogged my butt off. Work got super busy. I created a new routine. Everything got better. My workouts got better. I swam. Became intune with my soul. Closer to my parents and sisters. Reached out to girlfriends and planned outings with them. Reconnected with past friends. Learned to love my alone time.
Why am I sharing this? Because when you’re down or sad or depressed life still moves around you. Read that again. When you’re down or sad or depressed life still moves around you.
You have to stop and refocus. You miss out on so much when you sulk in your pain and sorrow.
The kids grow up. Life changes. Work changes. Friendships change.
No two days are ever the same. When you’re down and sad or depressed or angry you lose days of your life. You have to understand how important this is. You can’t let situations destroy you. Life is still carrying on whether you’re in it or not. I know sounds morbid but I am saying this because I care about my readers.
Let all that go. Enjoy your life. The moment. Yes you still will have bad days and sad moments. I still miss things in my life I once had but it’s ok. That’s all ok. What’s not ok is letting life move around you and you are just getting by. You can’t. You have to jump on the wagon of gratitude.
Don’t get by anymore. That’s not my wish for you. I wish you see how amazing your life can truly be when you make a slight change in your life and goals.
I am more happy, content and at peace now then I have been in a really long time. Yes so maybe heartache and pain had to happen for me to get to this point. Maybe I had to lose myself a little to find myself again. But I promise I will never go back to feeling that way ever again. And I want you to promise me you won’t lose yourself either.
Don’t Waste Time On Nonsense
It was a really good day. Then a silly conversation with a friend got a little out of hand. We tend to bump heads easily lately. It was so silly but made me think. How many silly moments can we possibly have? That life is so short and time gets wasted on nonsense. Let the nonsense go.
Keep life simple. Don’t complicate things. Keep friendships fun. Keep relationship good. Leave the nonsense out.
Change Starts Now...With You!
Change your goals. The people you surround yourself with. How you value your relationships and friendships. How you view your life.
It’s an awakening when you change. It starts with you. No one has the power or control over you. Change your habits. Change your routine.
I promise you the stress, doubt, hurt and pain goes away.
Anyone who did a disservice to you no longer matters anymore. Things that used to trigger you...don’t. It’s when you become so intune with yourself that the things that once hurt you don’t hurt you anymore.
Buy Your Own Damn Flowers
Ok ok I don’t need to be dramatic but let me tell you a story.
I never liked having flowers delivered to me. I always felt my spouse or companion or boyfriend or love interest should hand me flowers. The way the flowers look in a man’s hands was always very romantic and sexy. They always hide them and have a smile on their face. It’s a proud moment for them. Plus why pay so much. Why can’t a single rose or a single flower or a bouquet from a store be enough. To me that’s so romantic and personal verse a delivery guy dropping them off.
I used to buy my own flowers when I became single. I would get them in my cart and smile the whole time
grocery shopping. Not sure why I stopped. I don’t buy the expensive bouquet. I mean don’t we all deserve a $5-$10 bouquet of flowers. It’s not much and makes a difference.
So I just started again and I must say I love the simple gesture to brighten up my day and table. Something as buying your own damn flowers puts a smile on your face and it should because everyone deserves flowers even if you’re buying them for yourself.
Tuesday Vibes
It’s not easy to get here so when you get a call while you’re working out and it’s someone complaining and actually having to take on parenting responsibilities like you always do it’s when you say not today buddy. Don’t mess with my peace. Don’t mess with other people’s peace. I can’t stand Debbie downers and negative people. Do what you have to do and please don’t disturb my peace.
What’s a Great Life Partner
I like to believe they can be both. But what do I know...being a hopeless romantic my vision on relationships seem to shift. But let’s be honest. Relationships need to have love and lust, are work with compromise, are give and take. There has to be a balance. Isn’t that true with everything in life.
❤️
Monday, September 2, 2019
Slow Down...Enjoy The Moment
Work has been crazy. The back to school hustle has been intense. This weekend was just what I needed to regroup before going back to the hustle tomorrow.
Great chats. Great fun. Relaxing moments. Spending time with my little ones. Releasing tension. Connecting with family and friends. Spontaneous fun. Trying new restaurants. Comfort food. Walks. Naps.
We need to slow down. We need to embrace the moment. We need to listen to our bodies and catch up on sleep and rest. We need to understand there has to be a balance in life.
Stop the hustle. Be sure good to your body and mind.
Food Truck Humor...
Not a lot of cars get me to turn around to look twice but bring out some Food Trucks and I will run up and take a picture with you. Food trucks make me one happy girl. Haha
Let’s Take A Walk...Realities Of Life
Lately we have been walking. The weather is perfect for it. An hour walk and back makes a difference in your mood. It really does. We started to see leaves on the ground. But then noticed all the shapes and I began to laugh. Someone must really love us. All these heart leaves on the same walk. It made me happy.
You have to believe theres more out there in the world. The simple pleasures make life beautiful.
Now the world isn’t perfect. It can be scary. I won’t lie. I have had some situations that I didn’t think the world was as great as seeing leaves in the shape of hearts. You have to know your audience and situation. I went grocery shopping today after I brought my girls to their dad’s house. Earlier in the day. I have to paint you this picture. Now picture this..
I am pushing a cart between my car and another car to put it up on the side walk. I have a cookie in my mouth. My purse on my shoulder and car keys in my hands. The cookie is hanging out of my mouth. I turn around and there’s a man. It’s now me and him between two cars. He asks me for money. I am beyond pissed. He catches me off guard. I have no hands to defend myself. I take the cookie about of my mouth and tell him I have no cash. He comes forward and has an umbrella wrapped in his hand. We are still between two cars. I say you need to back up. He’s like I am just asking for $2 I said I already told you I have no cash and you have some nerve approaching me for money. I am now furious. He actually apologies and I say it’s not cool man and he walks away.
I was beyond pissed. But then I processed it’s all, damn this situation could have went super bad. My rush was anger and I showed it to him and I knew by his size I could take him out but still. It was violating to me. I am at a freaking grocery store. I had a cookie hanging out of my mouth. No hands. I laugh now but life isn’t just roses and hearts and happiness. It’s freaking scary and you have to be tough. But know your role. Know when to be tough and when to be soft.
Appreciate the little things like heart shaped leaves. But also don’t be oblivious.
Fix Yourself...
It’s not anyone’s responsibility but your own. You know to fix yourself. Work out any insecurities you have. Asking for support from someone who is your companion or spouse is ok...but there’s boundaries and rules.
Now there’s a difference. When you suck a person’s energy from them while you fix yourself it’s selfish. You need to acknowledge they can’t fix you. You need to do it on your own but they can love you along the way as long as you do your part. When fixing yourself you can’t be abusive, you can’t turn someone’s world upside down because your world isn’t how you want it to be. You must acknowledge and process before reacting. You must also set boundaries. What is acceptable what isn’t. We are human. We slip up. But own it. Also I also now say to anyone if I need to vent “is this a good time to talk”. Asking if they have mental space right now is also really good too. It’s asking for permission before dumping on to someone.
A lot of people point blame. Trust me I have witnessed it too much. Blaming someone for your anger or debt or insecurities or pain...etc. First step is to own it. Own your life.
I was married young. So young. I never was alone. Until now. And now I own it. I own my path. My life. My decisions. No blaming. Owning. It’s all me. I own my life. I own what I do with my life.
People get caught up on pointing a finger. This is not ok. You have to own your role in your life. And take responsibility for everything. Every action.
If someone loves you enough to stay by you while you fix yourself you must acknowledge the sacrifice someone is making and thank them. Yes. Thank them for helping you fix yourself. For loving you during the process.
No One Expects You To Be Perfect
Enjoy yours too...
I am a planner. I like structure and to make plans and stick to times and events. Well sometimes spontaneous adventures cross my path and I must say I love them too. I love the out of the blue “hey let’s get together or let’s go do this” “I am in is my response. Always. I love it. This weekend has had some spontaneous fun in it and it totally beat my “like to function with structure” mindset.
It’s life too. Ups and downs. Happy and stressful times. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. It just has to feel right and good and fun. Grateful for all in my life. Grateful for my messy life. Be grateful for yours.
Why Aren’t You Happy?
I wrote a long time ago the number one marriage killer was unmet expectations. Post is here
So I came across this Tedx Talk that explains why we are living in a growing society of more and more unhappy people. Can you guess why?
It basically states how our expectations aren’t aligned with our reality. Hence why my previous post makes sense. See we have this vision in our head how things should be verse the reality of how they really are. The expectation gap puts a lot of pressure on us. Causes stress. Failed marriages and relationships. Increases depression and anxiety.
The “ I should have or be something I am not currently at in life”
Simplicity is key. But we don’t function or live in a society that portrays that.
This talk also talks about how one person’s pleasure is another person’s pain. I wrote about it in my post about dealing with rejection here
Please keep in mind your life can change when you change the way you think. When I wrote about unmet expectations in 2017 I was just going through the process of divorce. It wasn’t an easy road but I have come a long way since and happiness has been a main goal. Then my rejection post was this summer after a situation with someone I was seeing. I can’t believe how much my mindset has changed sense then.
Those two situations very different yet similar in a small way taught me to focus on me. My mindset to be happy. To let that pain and hurt go. To change my views on relationships and what I needed and deserved. I swear I am a better person now because of those pains and experiences. Just like every pain and experience I have ever had in life.
Keep life simple. Love yourself. Find happiness in the smallest. Purest forms. Don’t compete with anyone. Don’t compete for love or respect. Respect and love yourself. Appreciate where you are at in your life. Look around and be thankful for it all. I swear to do everyday.
Sunday, September 1, 2019
Find Happy To Be Happy
I get it. I so do.
We think we can change people. You can’t. They have to want to change. You have to see what you want your future to be like an align it with people who have the same goals and views.
You can’t be happy with an unhappy person. You can’t achieve goals with someone who’s goals don’t align with yours.
Not Just A Picnic
We get together every Sunday. It’s been a tradition for as long as I could remember. We eat for hours. It started out as lunch now it’s lunch and we end up ordering pizza at night.
The kids play. The adults catch up on life. We are all really close. Sometimes our cousins join or family friends or friends. It’s a favorite.
This time we did it BBQ style. Not your typical bbq. It’s an upgraded version. Grilled lobster tails. Steak. Grilled endive. Fennel salad with pomegranate. Burgers. Sausage. Mom’s famous potatoe salad- ok not famous but it should be. Snow Crab legs. Tomatoes salad.
Everything made with love and insane. Prosecco and
Jell-O shots for the adults. Dessert for the kids and jello.
After most of us went on a 1 hour walk. Our family isn’t perfect. No one is. But we sure know how to eat, party and love eachother.
How do you BBQ?
Meditation Music...Mom What’s That Sound
During breakfast I put my meditation pandora station on. My youngest asked why is the ocean playing. I said it’s to relax us. She rolled her eyes. But then my oldest was walking down that stairs to where I was cooking and said “Mom what’s that Devine sound”. I thought she was being sarcastic but she said no really it’s beautiful.
I wanted us to have a relaxing morning together. Calm and enjoyable. It worked. Silly and no effort yet impactful. Small steps and gestures can make your world calm and zen.
September is National Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month
I can’t forget it...but then again I am reminded every morning when I wake up to take a small blue pill
to keep me alive. Sounds morbid. I know. But I don’t have a thyroid. A major function of the body that produces hormones that regulate the body's metabolic rate which is your metabolism, your heart and digestive function, muscle control, body temperature , brain development, mood and bone maintenance, controls your cholesterol levels and menstrual cycles. That’s about it...I am joking of course. I have to take vitamin d and calcium everyday. It’s a job but I am alive so I am extremely grateful. I am 6 years cancer free. I have amazing doctors I do follow ups with every 3-6 months. I go for blood work to check my levels and there’s a cancer tracer blood test I do. I go for neck ultrasounds. I am in good hands for sure.
But it’s something I didn’t even know about until I was diagnosed. I didn’t even know what a Thyroid was. Did. It’s in a shape of a butterfly. It’s in your neck. Now it’s so common to hear about Thyroid cancer and abnormal Thyroid levels. High survival rate because it’s a slow growing cancer. I had five modules. The cancer took up my whole thyroid. I had 5 millimeter of clean margins. Meaning it was only 5 millimeters before it spread to my lymph nodes and throughout my body. I was only 33 years old. Crazy but I had angels on my side. Two amazing doctors who helped me get through it. My OBGYN and my Endocrinologist. Til this day I still thank and they say they will never forget my journey. I was 6 months pregnant. Failed a glucose sugar test. My OB has a bad feeling. I asked to just repeat the test. She refused. Pushed me to see a specialist. The specialist felt my neck and ordered a biopsy right away. She said if I followered her advice and everything she suggested I do I would survive this.
So I did and she was right.
Some say it’s the “easy cancer” not a big deal. Those people never had cancer before. No cancer is easy. No call saying you have deadly disease in your body is easy to handle no matter what type of cancer it is.
We luckily live in a society where technology has come a long way. You can’t even see my scar. Back in the day the scars where awful. Treatment now is easier. Medicines are better and healthier. But it doesn’t mean you can’t look at the signs.
I had symptoms. My neck had lumps. I had a hard time swallowing my old PC said we would just keep an eye on it and was a sore throat. We didn’t. It was cancer and I have it for years before knowing. My skin was dry. Weird taste in my mouth. Bones hurt. I started to lose my hair. More frequently. My body was sending me signals and I didn’t even know. Listen to you body. Check your neck. Ask for your levels to be checked. It can save your life.
Thyca site was my go to guide for everything. The Yale surgeons were phenomenal. There’s even a separate parking garage for cancer patients. Hammers Healthcare Imaging in New Haven is the most professional and experienced imaging center I have ever been too. I went there and still do for all my thyroid ultrasounds. Amazing place.
Now living without a thyroid means taking your medicine and vitamins everyday. I don’t need a lot
of sleep anymore. I function on 6 hours. I have a high energy level. I love night time. Late nights. I used to need 8 hours of sleep. I used to just be a morning person and in bed by 9-10:00 pm. Now I can take a 15-20 min nap and function fine with little sleep. My routine has changed but I am grateful everyday to be where I am at.
Slice of Saugatuck September 7th 2019
This event Readers is by far the coolest event. It’s $15 a ticket or two people for $25. You walk downtown Saugatuck and there are vendors and restaurants handing out food to taste. You don’t pay for anything extra but liquor inside restaurants. You get a card. It lists all the participating restaurants. They have stations setup outside and you get a sample of food to
Try. You check off each location as you go. It is so much fun!!
“Saturday September 7, 2019 from 2 pm – 5 pm with over four dozen of Saugatuck's finest restaurants, shops and galleries opening their doors and inviting the community to come and sample their offerings. Walk the streets of Saugatuck Center and taste your way from restaurant to restaurant, to liquor store, to retail merchant and back.”
Learn more here:
Blues & Views Festival in Westport CT This Weekend
I took my two little ones to the Blues &
Views Festival this weekend and it was a blast. The best part is kids are free to get in. All activities for the kids are free. Face painting. Bouncy houses. Coloring station. Beads stations.
They really do a great job of having activities for the children. There’s a band playing. I got the basic tickets. The pavilion tickets are more money.
Then the food trucks and food stations are available. Delicious.... The Mac Factor is a Mac & cheese truck, Bobby Q’s, Rory’s, Micalizzi for ice cream, kettle corn and lemonade stand, a hot dog truck and a Greek food truck.
The pulled pork Mac and cheese from the Mac Factor was insane!! Comfort food in a cup is an understatement. The portion size was huge for $12. The bbq sauce was perfect on the pork. As it cooled
down the flavor got even better. Delicious!
The kettle corn pop corn was amazing. I even bought a big bag for a BBQ I am going to today. Then the Micalizzi ice cream truck had cannoli ice cream...was delicious.
Such a great vibe place. We spent over three hours there walking around. Playing. Eating and listening to music. The girls had a blast.
My middle one said it was her best day ever!
Be sure to check it out today. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/blues-and-views-festival-labor-day-weekend-2019-tickets-65115072936
Happy 1st of The Month
Oh September...apple picking...festivals...vineyards..cool weather.
You had me at September ❤️
It’s Your Life. Your Decisions. Your Happiness.
It’s took some time and heartache and drama and ups and downs to say...let it all go. Focus on what you really want and it will come. You need to too!
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