Patience

I read the chapter today in "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up" about Patience and it was right on point. I lack patience, I am a reactor, I do a lot of things without thinking first and later try to go back and fix what I have already done.

Patience is more then giving things time, it is about looking at the situation and processing what is really going on to really realize what the outcome will be. I would love to believe that at my age I would have already known what is right and wrong for me, but I don't, I am still learning, reacting and growing.

I thank god for my mother, she is my "go to person" with every conflict I have encountered in my life. I always tell her "too" much but she helps guide me in the right direction, most importantly she makes me see things in a clear picture. I always feel bad when I vent to her because I know, even though she won't tell me, it stresses her out. But I am a talker and when something is bothering me I need to talk about it, even though deep down I know what the right thing to do is.

It is like when you were a child and you wanted to touch something hot, you knew you would get burned but you did it anyway. As adults we still do things like that. We do things knowing what the outcome "will" be even though we want them to be something else. We know if we play with fire we'll get burned.

I do that with work too, I know if I do not meet deadlines or follow up there will be disappointments, I know what the outcome will be before I even do it and yet I still press myself for time. It is as if we are so caught up in the moment that we do not want to realize that the end results will not be in our favor.

So I know what I need to work on and I know at my age I have to use better judgement and know that a plan is a plan, we all have a plan in our life, whether we try to alter it or not it will play out the way it should play out!