Dealing With Forgiveness

They always say in order to heal you need to forgive people. Now you may not agree but I think it’s a crock of sh$t. Let me explain. 

Forgiving someone is accepting what they did to you. It’s saying it’s ok I will move on and you made me stronger etc... That’s not ok nor obligated to that person who hurt you. 

The only person who you need to forgive is yourself. Your core. Your soul. For putting yourself in a position that caused you pain. For being oblivious to what has happened around you. You have to forgive yourself inorder to heal. 

For giving someone the benefit of the doubt. For putting your guard down. For thinking a situation would turn out differently. 

No two situations are ever the same. We can’t go into a new situation with old baggage. Old expectations. Old needs. Everything is a fresh start. Until you forgive yourself you can’t truly heal. People think forgiving someone brings closure. No. It doesn’t. Closure happens in time. Closure happens when you have learned the lesson. When the situation no longer takes control over you. Your emotions or daily life. 

You can’t wish harm or bad on someone else but you don’t need to forgive them for something they did for you inorder to heal. I have had pain in my life. I have tried to forgive yet anger took over. Instead now I say it’s a lesson learned. I forgive myself for being stupid thinking differently. I forgive myself for giving someone my all when they didn’t deserve it. I don’t forgive them for never apologizing or owning up to pain they caused me. They don’t deserve my forgiveness. I deserve my forgiveness. 

I do wish peace in my life and am grateful they are no longer a part of my life. I am grateful for my family and loved ones who helped me heal and seek forgiveness within myself but don’t ever think you owe anyone forgiveness for causing you pain. You don’t. You owe yourselves forgiveness there’s a difference.