A lot of times people say they know when their marriage was over. This was mine. I knew the type of person and personality he had I couldn’t picture growing old with him. I didn’t feel he could be what I needed. It really solidified my decision to end the marriage.
It was funny I met many people who felt this way too. Mostly women. They felt they didn’t want to grow old with their partner. We grew up watching our parents relationship and they went through life with many ups and downs and to see them get through them made me think I should be able to do the same with my partner.
It wasn’t the case at the time. It wasn’t one thing. It was 100 different things and situations that all led to me knowing this wasn’t “my” person. And to be honest I wasn’t his. Because his person would be fine with that type of relationship. I wasn’t. I never could or would be.
So as you go through this journey of life you need to find a person you want to grow old with. Meaning who will be supportive through your ups and downs. Who is gentle and kind and supportive. Who you can rely on and is responsible and loving. And it’s not just one way. It’s not just you giving or them giving its both of you doing your part. Equally.
It’s you being supportive to him and he being supportive to you.
I knew I found the one when I could picture growing old with my boyfriend. The thought make me smile and want to cry.
I feel his kindness and gentle way with me makes me feel safe and heard in every situation. It’s not that butterfly jealous type of love. It’s the safe type of love where two individuals are secure while together and when apart. Where you feel supported in your differences. Where you have trust and honesty. Where you feel a calmness.
Do you picture growing old with your partner? Are you giving your partner the equal amount of what they are giving you?
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