This is really hard to do. Good communication in a relationship helps with this.
Being self aware and open and real helps too.
We initially react by how we feel not think. I am guilty of it too. We all do it.
It’s ok to feel but being in a place where you can be vulnerable and feel emotionally safe makes it easier to communicate without being so emotional. When you are being “heard” there’s a validation we are being granted.
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