Monday, April 6, 2020
Why Communication Matters
Tell me how you feel. Tell me what’s bothering you. Tell me how I can help. Tell me how we can fix things.
How’s your communication style?
I am very vocal- if you don’t already know. I like uncomfortable conversations because it clears things up. I like telling people how I feel about them and hearing how they feel about me. I learned to let my guard down and do and say what I feel in the moment. Sometimes it backfires other times it’s allowed walls to come down and relationships to blossom.
What I don’t like is a guessing game or when things get weird or awkward. I don’t like not knowing where I stand. But I realized one thing....
Communication is up to you. Really. I have met people who are openly aggressive and speak freely what’s on their mind. I have met super shy people who keep it all in. It was really up to me to adapt to make them comfortable to have an open dialogue.
We think we can be the same way with everyone. But we don’t talk to our children like we talk to our friends or companions. We don’t talk to our coworkers like we talk to our family. We don’t talk to our companions and spouses like we talk to another person in our life. You have to adapt to your audience. We have to also accept who we are dealing with.
You can’t change people. You change how you handle the person.
Sunday, April 5, 2020
The Type Of Love You Need
I can’t teach you how to love someone. It’s not that simple. It comes naturally. It’s like you just know. You know how to.
Will there be off days. Yes. Of course. But not painful days. That’s not love. Love shouldn’t be painful. That’s young love. The jealous controlling painful love That’s not the same. Love is having your life. What you need. Happiness and someone adding to what you already have.
See the difference... I want to add to your life and you add to mine. I want our time together to be amazing, fun, secure. I want you to be at peace when you’re with me and not have doubt.
I don’t want you to change me. I want you to see things in me I don’t see in myself.
Listen we have learned life is short and unpredictable.
Stop wasting it away. No doubts. No second guessing. Just happiness. Calm. Good times. Real. Nothing forced. Nothing painful.
Do you have that type of relationship? If not. Fix it.
Easter Crafts
By now we would have had a huge egg hunt. Been to egg hunts. Had breakfast with the Easter bunny. I swear I almost forgot to even do their baskets. I finally ordered ones because I didn’t have the mindset to actually go in a store and make one for them. Not because I didn’t care or have time. Funny time. Trust me I have the time but because my mind isn’t there.
So I had to toughen up I ordered baskets. I took out Crafts and I said let’s get in the Easter spirit.
We plan on making Easter bread this week and coloring eggs. We will also make homemade pasta and a lasagna. We need to try to adapt to our new norm. Things are changing for everyone but we have to still see the good in our day. We cannot stop living.
Please don’t fall apart. Please try to make the best of your situation. Please try to keep traditions alive. This is our new norm for now. Embrace it.
Not Your Typical Palm Sunday
It’s Palm Sunday. One of my favorite holidays and due to the virus it started as just a typical Sunday. I wanted to make lunch a little special so I stopped at our favorite bakery and picked up croissants and monkey bread from Wave Hill Bakery in Norwalk.
It’s great with ordering. You order ahead and use a card to pay. Then you go to the door and they hand you the order. Super easy and delicious.
It’s not the Season of lent without Strufoli so I stopped by Angelia Mia for one. It’s nothing like the homemade one we are used to making but at least it sort of felt like Palm Sunday.
I stopped by a friends this morning to do some distancing walking and she handed me a Palm that her mom had.
It made my day.
After I picked up my kids and we stopped by the cemetery to see my Grandparents. Every year I visit them on Palm Sunday. I normally bring them a Palm Cross but since I wasn’t recently at the store I couldn’t get one but I was happy to see my mom had brought them one.
So many of the holidays aren’t the same lately. Maybe Palm Sunday and Easter seem different due to lack of family and traditional meals being made BUT you can still add some little touches to you day to make it special. Add your own traditional twists to your days.
I can’t wait for next year when we look back and say remember last year when we...
Happy Palm Sunday to you all! Don’t worry the best days of our lives are yet to come.
We Aren’t Suppose To Fix People But Love Them
I won’t change you. Please don’t change me. But...
We don’t have to “fix” people. We have to dig deep within and help them see the beautiful parts of themselves. We have to love that part of them. Once they feel it then it does change them.
Imagine have deep pain and someone coming along loving you. Making those pain diminish. You help them forget because they are now focused on the good. The love you’re giving them.
Loving hard doesn’t always backfire and if it does so be it.
What Makes Something Special?
It doesn’t matter what it is. If it felt good in your heart then it’s special.
When was the last time you did something that made your heart happy? When was the last time you shared a special moment with someone?
Saturday, April 4, 2020
Create Memories
Those are the best moments. When you’re laughing and having fun and you stop and take it all in. Your heart is full and content. You want to freeze time to embrace this moment for as long as possible.
That right there is what creating memories is about.
Now more than ever it’s so important to distract yourself and do something fun with your kids or spouse or significant other or family. You can’t go anywhere but yet there is plenty to do inside together. My kids and I have made play dough, soap, pie, ice cream, cookies and cooked together.
Stores are now selling cookie and cupcake kits. Where they provide the cooked baked goods, frosting and toppings for decorations. Pizza places are selling pizza kits with dough, sauce and cheese.
What fun memories have you created?
Find Beauty In Your Life
Love your life. Sorry for the swears in this but don’t waste your life. Find beauty in it.
Friday, April 3, 2020
Yogi Tea Thanks For The Motivation
Yogi tea was my favorite tea to drink when I was recovering from my thyroid surgery. My throat hurt so much it was hard to breathe in air. I hated ice or anything cold. They suggested ice pops but it hurt so much. Anything hot helped soothe the irritation in my throat. I remember drinking hot water just to help heal in the hospital. The hotter the better.
My sister bought me this type of tea when I got home from surgery.
There’s something about this tea. It tingles and soothes. Throat comfort is what I used. It was my saving grace. I will never forget the comfort it gave me. This time I bought lemon ginger.
But it’s not the taste that makes this my favorite. It’s the hidden messages in every tea bag.
Every time I had tea I got to enjoy an inspirational message they attached to each bag. It provided hope and inspiration and motivation.
In times of pain or sorrow or doubt or fear every little positive gesture helps. 💛
Thursday, April 2, 2020
Wednesday, April 1, 2020
When Was The Last Time You Showed Someone How You Really Felt?
It’s not an easy time to express how we feel. We are so wrapped into the news and chaos and sadness. I am not like that. I can’t be down. I have to spread good and happiness.
The other day I stopped by a friends and left them a slice of my pie on their porch.
She was so happy I thought of her. She texted me saying I made her day.
I haven’t been around my sisters in a while. One was feeling a bit down so I said I was coming by. 6 feet was plenty of space for us to still enjoy eachother. I saw her transform after I left. She was happy even if we couldn’t hug goodbye.
Today was someone who is really special to me Birthday. I couldn’t be with him to celebrate so instead I surprised him and had lunch sent to him. I can’t get over how appreciative he was. I wanted to be sure he felt special even if I couldn’t be with him in person.
I don’t want my parents going to the grocery store. I go instead. I woke up really early and went before everyone started their day. I stocked up on fresh produce. It should hold us over for a week or two. They were beyond appreciative.
I am so grateful for these people and everyone else who everyday are amazing to me and for me. Who check in on me to make sure we are all ok. These are just brief stories of how I can make people feel as important and special as they make me feel.
There are little steps we can take. It doesn’t cost much or anything. It’s not hard to show people how much they mean to you. It makes your heart full and good. Do it. Tell someone how special they are. Do something nice for someone. I swear it helps your heart and soul.
Get Up & Get Moving
It’s not easy meeting the 10k step goal without being able to go to the gym. The other day I woke up. Got dressed. Went to turn on my car to go for a walk. We are a creature of habits. I laughed and then wanted to cry. Our habits have to change. No gym for a while. So on nice days I push the kids for us to be outside. My favorite activity besides long walks is basketball. Always helps me reach my target step count.
I am not a runner. I was years ago not anymore. So don’t worry. Just do whatever works for you. Just get outside and distract yourself. Stay in shape. Stay healthy.
Notice Your Triggers
This is important. I have said it before. We all should live in peace. Calmness. When we are reactive it’s an internal wound that isn’t healed. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the person who is causing us to react. Imagine that?
When you are aware of your wounds and insecurities you can have successful relationships and friendships. You won’t project on to people.
We can all live in peace once you do the hard work of really healing.
Happy 7th Year To Me
Today marks my 7th year being Thyroid Cancer Free. Wow lucky 7. It was like yesterday I was this young pregnant woman going into surgery. Leaving behind a 4 week old and 5 year old girl. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It never really bothered me. Memories looking back. But I found this post and when I reread it I actually cried. Because if I could go back I would have hugged that young girl and told her it will be hard and painful but ok. That you would face a lot of tough roads ahead of you but come out to be strong and survive.
That the RAI treatment will be awful. That you will be in quarantine for two weeks and can’t be with your family. That certain foods years later still remind you of your cancer treatment and give you a wave of nausea. That the scans will be awful because you will not have any medicine in your body and you literally will feel your body decay. I would tell her that she didn’t have to be strong. That being strong meant years of still having pain from never really dealing with it. That being strong for everyone else took away your healing emotionally. That the person you needed most at the time would not be able to mentally or emotionally handle you needing help so you would put up a wall that would take years to come down.
I survived cancer. I survived a divorce. I survived heart ache and pain. I survived not knowing where I was going or doing. I survived in a world where you are judged. I survived so I could give my girls a calm, peaceful life.
Cheers to all of you who have survived your own battles. I am proud of you!
My past post: 1 Week To Go Before My Thyroid Cancer Surgery
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Monday, March 30, 2020
Social Distancing...These Are The Times Of Your Life...Accept It
I am not one to stay home but I do and sometimes I drive around blasting a song. Sometimes I stop by and hang on a friends porch 6 feet away from eachother. We walk on opposite sides of the road and every time I leave we can’t hug. Instead they thank me from a distant and tell them how much I mean to them and this meant to them. A distraction.
See we don’t have to be perfect. We have to be real. Human. Tell people we love them. Ask how they are. Know we are thinking of them.
When was the last time you did that?
One day we will look back on these days and laugh and cry. This is your current life. Make the most of it.
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