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Saturday, August 3, 2019
You Need Healing...Don’t We All
I previous wrote about the healing stones I purchased when I was away. So the other day I had my mom hold each one to see where she felt the most energy. Was crazy that she felt some stones get warm.
I again did it and amethyst gave off the most energy to me. I need...Healing. Calm thoughts. More peace.
Sounds about right. I really have come a long way with processing with triggers. I won’t lie I still try not to react. Thinking ok that sucks but why does it bother me. Why do I allow it to be a part of me. Why do I allow it to affect me.
It’s really about within. Self love. Are you worthy of love? Also past experiences. Is any love ok love? Is not being alone better even though these people aren’t emotionally available so you’re really alone anyway.
It’s a cycle. Healing...I think we all need it. We all need some good healthy healing.
Here’s the next step...we have to only allow people in our life who will contribute to our healing not cause more pain. See what I did there?!
That’s a huge misguided truth. We need to make sure new people or people around us don’t cause pain because then we will healing from one thing while creating more pain from another that requires more healing.
Can’t this whole process be less complicated. Can’t people come in with open arms to love and have fun and be good for you and to you and you do the same?
If only it were that simple! I wouldn’t have to write so much.
Sometimes You Cause Your Own Pain
It’s a learning process right. Fate. Destiny and sometimes it’s YOU. You not reading through the lines. You making poor decisions. You not following your intuition.
Yeah we need to own our own life. Our own truth and failure. Our own decisions. They are ours. No one is to blame but us.
So shake it off and restart. Regroup. Focus on what each lessons taught you and then say ok next journey I will be and do better. I will know better.
I Get It Mom...I Understand Now
The other day I wrote about my oldest always helping out friends when she’s at camp field trips. I love her kind soul. She’s always been a giving person. People like her naturally are like that. It’s somewhat taught but mostly part of them and their character. I hate to stop her or tell her not to do it but it’s my job as a parent to set some boundaries.
So she came up to me today and said next week will be another field trip and she asked for $40. Sure I replied but let me know what you plan on doing with the money. She responded she would first grab lunch and a drink and for me not to pack her lunch. The rest she will use for games. I said what about your friends. She said no this time I will only help if they ask or really need something.
I said I want you to understand that if they are short a dollar it’s ok to give it to them. It they need an extra token or ticket it’s ok to give it to them. But don’t feel responsible for them. It’s not your role. You aren’t obligated to pay for their food or anything they need.
She understood.
Now there’s a part of parenting where a fine line can be drawn. You have to really process how to respond to situations. You don’t want to teach your kids to not be helpful or compassionate. You don’t want them to be greedy or selfish. But they need to respect the value of a dollar and good karma. You also don’t want them to be a pushover. The go to for paying for everything just to make friends happy. Helping those in need when they need it is a given. Always try to. Even if someone is being bullied or picked on I always say you must tell a teacher and stick up for anyone being put down. You must help when you can or where needed but not volunteering to always help without them asking or needing it.
Real Intimacy Has Nothing To Do With Sex
When you can open up and be truthful. When you can communicate without fighting. When you can be honest even if it’s something they don’t want to hear. Even when it’s silly or may sound dumb. When you find someone you can be you, real, open and safe with. That’s more intimate than anything else. That’s a deep true connection. It’s super sexy. It’s what everyone needs in a relationship.
Let’s Fast Forward Time
Wouldn’t it be great if we could fast forward time and see how things end up. Then we could enjoy the journey so much more. Then we wouldn’t keep holding on to people or situations. Hoping for the best but deep down knowing that you may be wasting your time. That all along it never was going to turn out the way you hoped or thought.
How all along it never was going to be what you wanted or needed. Instead we just wait. Silly....we wait for things to go in our favor and well sometimes they don’t.
I know I know I say enjoy the journey. Enjoy the process. Yes it’s true. But sometimes we can prevent our own pain and hurt. We just don’t because we think things will end up differently then they probably will.
Just be ok with it. No matter what the outcome is. Trust your journey. Don’t wait but don’t chase either.
Happy Saturday!
In life we hang on to each others words. Things said to us. How great if we can turn around and only hang onto the good stuff. Let go of the negative. Cleanse our minds of doubt and hurt. Open our hearts up.
My friend yesterday told me “you appreciate the small joys in life I can learn from you.” I said I was happy we met and appreciated that.
That’s all our goals right? To learn from one another and teach one another things. To help eachother feel good. To point out positive stuff in them that they may not see themselves.
Why Laughing IS The Best Medicine
I did dinner the other night with a girlfriend. She’s so sarcastic. She’s the best. She starts off her story by saying I went to CVS the other day down street which by the way I am not allowed back in.
Right there I just start to laugh. My stomach hurt from laughing so much from her story. Straight face and all. She is the best.
I love to laugh. I mean who doesn’t? I also love certain people in my life because they do make me laugh so much. I love being in their company and their messages. I love their stories and humor. I love making people laugh. It’s like the kid in us comes out.
Now what if I told you laughing relieves...Pain! Yep. Read this:
Why Laughter May Be the Best Pain Medicine
Notice When You’re Triggered & Say Something
You have to be comfortable enough to know your emotions. When your mood shifts. I was speaking to a friend. Awesome fun silly conversation and then bam. My friend said one thing and it triggered me. I felt it. My blood pressure rose, I felt sad, mad and instead of fighting I called it out. I said you triggered me. And they apologized. That’s it. No fighting no back and forth banter. It stopped and I went back to fun silly banter.
Why is this important? Because people don’t know when you’re mad or why. We hold in a lot of crap, pain and then what happens? We become distant and angry. We hold a grudge. We have pain. We don’t heal.
What if when someone does something we don’t like we call them out on it?
Hey that bothered me. Can we discuss it? Or hey that triggered me and I don’t like how that made me feel. Don’t be defensive when someone says that. Say ok no problem.
Why haven’t we become intune with our feelings, needs and wants yet? That’s YOUR job to do for YOU!
Barcelona in Norwalk
Waypointe is hopping! I love it. All the restaurants have a ton of outdoor seating. There’s such a big crowd. I guess I never realized it. I usually go during the week. It’s really developing into a fun area.
When you’re out to dinner with girlfriends my favorite thing is to get a bunch of tapas. Barcelona is the perfect place for it. They have a ton and they are the perfect size to share. Not too small not too big, just enough to be filling.
Their Patata Bravas are the best I have ever had.
So tasty and crunchy. We could have ordered a second round. We also ordered their skirt steak, shistos peppers and seared scallops.
Delicious. Fun. Awesome atmosphere outside. Being outside sipping on drinks. Eating tapas and laughing.
For dessert we split then crepes for dessert and all of this for under $40 each with tip included.
Yep a night out for under $40 is a big win!
Friday, August 2, 2019
Who Makes You Smile?
This....when you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts. That you can say to them when you’re upset I was triggered and they understand. When they make you smile just from one text. This should be our goal.
Happiness. Smile. Feel Good Moments.
I never want to think life can’t be magical and I don’t want you to ever think that too. Because it can be.
What Makes You Happy...
Whatever it is keep doing it. Whoever adds to your happiness surround yourself with them.
We all have come a long way to not be happy. I challenge you to focus on your happiness!
Summer Salads at Bertuccis in Darien CT
Farmhouse Salad
Picture this...spontaneous lunch with a friend. Outside on a patio with refreshing salads end of the week. Fun right?!
I love little things like this. Breaks up your day and gets you out of your routine. Plus the company matters... we always have a nice time together and easy conversations. So fun!
We decided to go to Bertucci’s. I haven’t been there in a long time. There are a variety of salads to choose from. My friend got the Farmhouse Salad.
The Farmhouse has Romaine, iceberg, pepperoni, fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, bell peppers, cucumbers, roasted black olives & balsamic fig glaze. Everything is chopped. My favorite way to eat a salad. Very refreshing and healthy.
I ordered the Insalada with grilled chicken.
The Insalada is their standard salad which I always loved topped with grilled chicken and balasamic.
Both really good and great pricing. Fun spontaneous lunch with a friend helps start off the weekend right.
When’s the last time you had a spontaneous lunch outing?
https://locations.bertuccis.com/us/ct/darien/54-post-road
You’re Lovable Regardless Of Who Loves You!
You’re always loveable. You always have been. Never determine just because one person or people aren’t willing to give you what you need means you are the problem. You aren’t. Just means you haven’t found your person yet!
I have a friend. This friend doesn’t think they are romantic or sweet. The ironic thing is every time we hang out my friend does a sweet kind gesture. Without me asking just naturally happens. I always let them know and point it out. Whether it’s ordering my favorite drink for when I arrive or giving me their first bite to try their dish or even serving me a shared dish or pizza before they serve themselves. If we are texting and my day is off or something happens they ask if I am ok.
I have a friend. This friend doesn’t think they are romantic or sweet. The ironic thing is every time we hang out my friend does a sweet kind gesture. Without me asking just naturally happens. I always let them know and point it out. Whether it’s ordering my favorite drink for when I arrive or giving me their first bite to try their dish or even serving me a shared dish or pizza before they serve themselves. If we are texting and my day is off or something happens they ask if I am ok.
It’s those little gestures that show you can be loveable, sweet and kind, it’s just who are you willing to or who makes you want to do those kind things for them.
You have it in you. We all do.
Happy Aug 2nd
Let go of what if’s, doubts, fears. Look within for decisions. Look within to move forward.
Who Is Worth The Risk...Those You Don’t Second Guess
This is a lesson to you and me. I believe in love and fairytales and happily ever afterwards but choose someone you think will give you that in return.
We all have internal hurt and pain. We all have healing. Now think about everyone who has contributed to that pain. It’s the closest people in our life or have been in our life. Where we let our guard down and gave them power over us. Over love. Over trust. And then what happened....
It back fired. We now have pain and healing and frustration from being vulnerable. Pain is from that. Lack of trust. Lack of ability to connect. Lack of ability to be close to them or someone.
That then causes us to let it hard for others in or to let go of people and situations.
This doesn’t only apply to relationships. It’s friendships or family members. Anyone who we let our guard down with and it took a piece of our power and heart away.
Now I am not saying don’t risk it. I am not saying give up. This is learning lessons. This made us stronger and wiser. Some of the biggest pain I have I have to deal with those people forever. I am saying in this lifetime we have to be careful who we let in. The healing may take longer than the pleasure.
Your Life Purpose Isn’t Suppose to Be Easy!
Yeah why would it be simple? Then again whose is?
Our journey is meant to have twists and turns. It’s meant to have heartache and pain. It’s meant to have bad times and good. It’s meant to want to heal others while needing to be healed. It’s being happy yet a little broken too.
Your journey may have a different story or path than mine but I bet it has twists and turns. Heartache. Pain. Sorrow. Joy. Love. Hate. Happiness and Broken pieces that need fixing and healing.
My life story has many chapters that one may rip out and replace with others. But it’s my story. It’s sad. Shocking. Beautiful. Your story is too.
I always felt I dealt with a lot but I realized a lot had to do with things that helped build my character. I let my guard down and had my heart broken a couple times. But doesn’t mean I stopped believing in love and romance. It actually showed me I can find that. I just have to be patient. It’s also not all of me. It’s 10%. The other 90% is J a Mom a Sister a Daughter a Friend an Entrepreneur a Blogger a committee member a want to be healer a flower child a hopeless romantic.
What percentage makes you who you are? Think about it. Break it down. Nothing takes up all of you. Some parts are broken and need fixing. Trust me I am working on that. But you as a whole aren’t just one thing.
Thursday, August 1, 2019
I Love That You Have A Kind Soul But Please Stop
I started to notice a trend. Every time she had an activity and I gave her extra money she was doing kind things for her friends and spending her money.
“Mom I bought a whole pizza for my group, I ate a slice of it and they had the rest” “Mom I bought her a drink.” “Mom I played one game but had to win my friend a toy too so played for her” “Mom you have extra tickets just give it to my friend”
Finally tonight I pulled her aside at a festival and said enough. I love that you have a kind soul but you have to understand the value of money.
I get it. When I was 10 I didn’t know concept of money. If my friends wanted something I would offer too or ask my mom. I don’t mind giving a kid a couple of tickets so she can join a ride. But when I am spending $10 or more now and have already three kids to worry about it gets to be a little much.
I love she has a kind soul but had to break it down for her. I explained how many chores she would have to do to make money or how many hours.
Recently she asked for an extra $50 for a school trip. That’s spending money. The trip already covered. Everything else paid for. I said I will give you $40 but please let it last. She said she was thirsty because she used all her money on games and couldn’t afford a drink when I picked her up.
I wasn’t there to back her up. I felt awful for her but also thought it would be a good lesson for her.
I realize it’s my job as a parent to help my kids understand it too.
I also said I had no problem giving extra tickets if her friend was short on tickets for rides but when I am now giving her friend we ran into 8 tickets for multiple rides that’s when it’s not ok. There has to be a balance in life. No one wants to be cheap or stingy but you also don’t have to offer up money or a whole pizza or tickets unless someone is really in a jam. You do help people when they need it but a child shouldn’t have to focus on that.
If someone is short a dollar you help. If someoneis hungry you share your food. One year a friend never had snack so I said pack her extra snack to share with her. We did it all year long.
If someone is sad you see where you can help. But the last four times I gave her extra money she used it on something else. It’s ok once in a while but not every time. It’s ok to help when people need it and be generous but it’s also ok to not feel responsible for everyone else.
Cornhole Tournament in Milford CT
I love Walnut Beach. I spent a lot of time here last summer.
It’s so pretty and clean. This event looks like a lot of fun. Check it out:
How Do You Choose Your Time?
We always have a choice. We give up one thing to gain another. There’s always the same amount of time in a day. We choose what we do with it. Who we spend it with and how it fills our life.
There’s never a “right time”. It’s the time you want it to be.
I learned a long time ago you can’t force anyone to make a decision or act a certain way or react. You only have control over you. Your life. Your time. Your happiness.
Sono Arts Fest This Weekend Aug 3&4 2019
This is one of my favorite festivals. I love all the vendors and music. Food. The vibe is so fun and creative. It starts Saturday 10-5:00.
Be sure to go to the parade. We were in it a couple of times. Go to the puppet station and see if they need volunteers to walk and hold up the puppets.
What If I Said The Gain Is Worth The Risk?
Do you have any regrets? NONE
I honestly haven’t. I may have wished I did things differently but always gained from any risk. I had to heal to feel that way. To say I have no regrets. They are all making me better. Smarter. More lovable. More at peace. More independent.
Nothing I ever risked wasn’t worth the gain.
When you think this way you can’t have regret.
Happy 1st Of The Month...Happy August
Every month is a new start. A fresh start. Make it a happy one!
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Red 36 In Mystic CT
This is our go to place every time we come to Mystic in the Summer. It’s beautiful. Overlooking the water with all the boats. The food is delicious. Refreshing. Tasty. Great prices.
My girlfriend was craving steamers. She lucked out when she saw them on the menu. Followed by her berry hibiscus drink with Tito’s. Was a great lunch. I ordered their arugula chicken and pesto flatbread. Was perfect after a weekend of eating bad in the Cape. The salmon chips are always a hit and this time we tried their clam and corn fritters.
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