Break the Patterns

We all have them. We are predictable. I have a friend. I know his pattern so well that it doesn’t disappoint me anymore. It’s predictable. 

He makes tentative plans. I know when he will follow through and not. I don’t expect more because I get it now. 

I have a friend in my life when she drinks too much her voice changes. It’s my cue to be reserved around her. Because if I don’t we have an argument. Next day she apologizes but the pain is already done. 

I know people who block people out instead of discussing things. They don’t want to show emotion because they think it makes them weak but it doesn’t. It shows your human. 

I know a guy in my life that if I try to correct his behavior style instead of processing he reacts by criticizing mine. But later he does change and takes my advice without saying so to me. I know his patterns. He’s predictable. 

I had another guy in my life he enjoyed pushing buttons. He enjoyed getting a reaction. He would cause an argument and then hours later say I was just joking but see how you reacted. He gets bored and likes arguments because he was raised around it. It’s all he knows. It actually gave him a thrill. 

When you know patterns you don’t let things bother you but you do have to break them. If they don’t do you justice you have to change. If you see pattern after pattern cause more pain then good then you need to change. 

Look at your patterns. How you react to things. How you handle things. How you handle arguments. How those close to you handle arguments. How you love. How you feel what represents love to you. 

I know my patterns. I can be mean if triggered. I then need space and a break. I need to process everything. It’s like a built up of emotions and words come

out of me. I usually am very vocal with how I feel but sometimes repeated behaviors give me doubt and I don’t like it. I then have to ask myself why I was triggered. What really bothered me. Break it all down. Because I could never really hate anyone I later feel guilty for how I reacted. I then try to make peace. I don’t have ill feelings in my heart for anyone but at the time of me being triggered I am really tough. I can be mean and it’s not ok but that’s my pattern. I know my pattern. I seen it. I am working on it. I own it. 

Question is do you know yours? Do you own yours?