Start tonight. Even if it is to a stranger. Smile at them. Not in a weird creepy way in a nice way.
The other day I was out with my daughter and was speaking to a lady who asked me for my advice on an item and said Happy New Year after my daughter asked if I knew her. I said no. She said oh wow. I said it’s ok to be polite and help others if they ask. Just be careful as a child don’t do it alone without a parent around.
We can change anyone’s life at any time. Please focus on changing it for the better. Start today. I plan to as well!
This song I remember was playing fall of 2018. Was a rough time for me. Things were all finalizing. Turmoil was in my life. I was working out in my bedroom of my old house I got upset and threw a weight on the ground. It bounced up from the carpet and into the wall leaving a hole. I am not a violent person at all. I was first in shock because that wasn’t my intentions and then I laughed and then I thought crap I have to fix that since I lived alone. But I will never ever forget that day. What I felt. What happened. Everything.
This song played this afternoon while I was at the gym working out. All the emotions rushed back. I then said to myself man I still have a ton of healing to do.
A therapist I once went to said when dramatic situations happen in our life it can take up to three years to get over it and that’s if you deal with it. Imagine. So we have a situation. It sucks we bury it. Then in time it comes up again. We never really heal because we don’t work through it. Things trigger it. Songs remind us of it. People hurting us remind us of past pain.
When I first separated from my ex I spent 7 months alone. Single. It was pretty amazing I must say because it was new. I had to heal and focus on me and my kids. My job. Taking care of a house solo. All those things. So after dating these last year and a half I have decided again to stop. Focus on myself and my kids and my life and work and home situation. I have to heal 100% from everything. The past. Stuff from 2019. Anything buried. All has to stop. All has to come up and be healed.
I want to hear this song one day and not associate it with pain. Once I do I know my work is done.
I share this with you because you too have pain. You too have hurt or a buried situation. I had someone really close to me once say he had no expectations. You can’t get hurt when you don’t have expectations he would say to me. I don’t want to live like that. He shouldn’t either and you shouldn't.
You aren’t alone on this journey of life. I am definitely not alone on this journey of life. So start your journey. Thanks for being a part of mine.
We send out to the universe what we want. Sometimes out of anger and frustrations we want one thing. Once things calm down we want another. Be clear with the universe exactly what you want and need.
I have had so many situations where I said I wanted one thing but meant another. As if I didn’t know what I wanted or needed or I went along with things or I had doubt. Regardless it gets chaotic and crazy. Stop doing that. Maybe say I want to focus on growth and happiness and peace so please align me with people and situations that can offer me that and bring me that.
Sometimes our lessons are different than our intentions. Sometimes paths don’t aligned. Regardless how many times did you predict things happening. How many times did you say I never wanted that to happen and it happens.
Every once in a while I pour out my stones and see which one I need. Today was healing.
I feel great. I am calm and peace of mine. What you do is you pour these in your hand and see which one feels a bit warm to you or your energy is more attracted to. Today was amethyst. Which is healing. Peace of mind. It helps for meditation which is funny because I have been doing all week and sleeping to meditation music to calm the brain.
It’s fun to tap into your energy. We all could use a little guidance and healing.
I love working from home. I get to sneak out and pop into school to join my kids in their activities. This time was for a VIP lunch for my middle one getting a lot of points for good behavior. 100 to be exact and then she could invite anyone to her VIP lunch and she chose us. I brought donuts as a special treat. It’s moments like this you have to cherish. They grew up fast and things change but little fun treats like this make the process enjoyable.
I was disappointed last time I came because I didn’t order the right dish. But this time...this time I did and ate the whole thing...shhh don’t tell anyone.
I texted a friend to remind me which one to get and thank goodness I did because it was so amazing. The Shoyu Paitan with corn add on is the best one!
My daughter and I were deciding where to eat. I said I can’t decide where to go she said I know you love so many places. It was true I do. I started to laugh because a friend would always say that to me. You’re happy no matter where you go. It’s true. So instead I had to think about where she would enjoy eating and remembered she loved Mecha. Omg lets go to Mecha I said she’s like YES!
She’s like a little adult now it’s so fun.
Her noddle was broth and noodle but she did try my favorite dishes. She even ordered a mango boba and it was pretty darn good. It tastes like a pina colada without liquor.
This is a bubble tea or sweet drink that is combined with Milk. The pearls are made out of tapioca. They get sucked up through the straw so she asked for a smaller one and we couldn’t stop laughing.
It still got stuck on the smaller straw. The pearls tasted like fig and are gummy like candy.
This is really important. When you love yourself and are at peace with yourself you don’t abuse substances or do anything to sabotage your health to cope. You don’t need to cope. You’re at peace and a happy place in life. When you need a distraction or a coping mechanism you’re covering up inner pain or need a distraction from your reality life.
Please fix your reality. Please look within. I have seen substance abuse. I have seen alcohol abuse. I have seen people turn to other forms to cover inner pain. Having an affair. Food. Drugs. Staying in unhealthy relationships. What they don’t realize is the answers are simple. Stop masking pain and deal with it. Heal and be healthy and then you can be truly happy.
It’s a work in progress. I get it. But you owe it to yourself to give yourself the best possible life. You’re not alone in your journey.
I think it’s important. No settling. No half effort relationships and friendships. Just make yourself a priority. Love yourself. Be kind and good to others. Embrace life. Love your journey. 2020 Goals.
It’s been 10 years of a lot of things that were not aligned with who I was. As I start this new journey a lot of memories reappear. You aren’t a prisoner to anyone or any pain or any feeling.
You aren’t alone. You don’t need to deal with any situation that doesn’t settle well with you anymore. You don’t have to be held hostage to your past or any pain.
We can change everyday. At any moment at any second. It’s your life. Let go of your secrets and past and pain. Change today. This song reminds me of a lot that’s in me. That I realize I no longer have to hold on to any pain or sadness.
I want a clear. Calm. Life. Simple. Happiness. You deserve that too. These next ten years will never be anything like my last ten years. You too can change at anytime.
2020 started out great. My kids had an awesome night. I had a great lunch with family. I saw a girlfriend that I started and got to end 2019 with. Even my favorite song played with my name in it after the count down...I mean does it get better than that!
But real growth happens with experience. Our ultimate goal in life should be to have peace and love in our hearts. I am working on my healings. What are you doing to heal?
2020 is just another year to some but to be honest my 30’s were a rollercoaster ride. My soon to be 40’s is all about self love and peace.
Whatever and whomever doesn’t bring out the best of you doesn’t deserve space in your mind and heart. Remember that.
I rolled out of bed and headed to one of my favorite places. The gym. But it wasn’t the gym that made my morning. It was the random good morning smiles and words I got from strangers. Four of them while walking to the locker room.
It’s hard going back to work after a two week holiday cycle. Kids are back in school. We may not be ready for our routine or we may be dying for it. I love having a routine but it was great to take a break and be with the kids and surround ourselves with a ton of Holiday magic.
I was getting ready for bed and saw this on my phone on an app. I mentioned I have a thing for numbers. I had to look it up. I normally do when numbers are repeated.
Which is ironic because I had my meditation music on.
We live off hope right? We believe in stuff beyond the obvious to help make life magical. Add some magic in your life.
Doesn’t hurt. You don’t always have to be realistic.
