Sunday, February 7, 2021
Saturday, February 6, 2021
Friday, February 5, 2021
Same Situation Different Reaction
You reach a level of growth when you can change the way you react to the same situation.
What’s Your Communication Style?
What makes a great communicator? Video by Mark Groves.
I love his posts. They are realistic yet we overlook these things and need a reminder.
Providing a healthy safe space for someone to be honest and open is important. How you start the discussion is so important. If you start aggressive it will end aggressive.
I usually start off with can we discuss something that has been bothering me or can I say something without you being offended. That second part may not be my best approach because normally that means I think it will offend them. I always try to use a soft approach because I want to be heard. When we act emotional we are only seeing the emotion. No one is listening to our words.
Most relationships fail or have issues based on how they communicate. Lack of or too aggressive and defensive. Learn to change that. Relationships will have conflict but it can be healthy conflict.
Think of the last argument or discussion you had. What tone was it when it started and when it ended?
Are you being heard? Are you hearing the other person?
When you’re not or they are not being heard that is when frustration occurs and emotions arise. Usually anger sets in.
Being heard is the most validating thing you can do for your partner or anyone really you’re having a disagreement with. Making them feel heard not meaning you agree but you’re actually hearing them is powerful. It doesn’t add ammo to the fight. It diminishes it. If you become defensive then they become defensive or feel you’re not providing a safe place for them to discuss what’s bothering them.
Learn how to communicate better. Trust me it helps so much. It makes you better too.
The Best Type Of Relationship
❤️
Focus on creating this! It’s really important to have that balance.
Thursday, February 4, 2021
Who Do YOU Inspire?
You're amazing and do not even know it. You inspire people all around you. You inspire people with how you act, how you love, what you say and do.
We all have influence over people. Family, peers, spouses/companions, children, friends, co-workers.... The list is endless.
Being YOU, showing who you really are, matters. Do not hide behind something or your truths. Be you because you are a good person and people are watching.
I do not know who reads my blogs, but I do know my numbers go up everyday. That alone gives me motivation and shows I inspire YOU.
Thank you for letting me part of your life and for following my journey! I may never meet you or have the opportunity to discuss with you face to face the journey of life but knowing I inspire you is motivation enough!
Who inspires YOU?
Secret To Living Long & Well
I believe this. I believe we need to take care of our body, mind and soul. You need to add laughter in your day and love. Love people. Tell them how they make you feel.
Learn to be happy. Learn how to love your life or change it!
Wednesday, February 3, 2021
Isn't That What It's All About
I am very transparent. Whenever I feel a certain way that I do not like I talk it out. I rationalize with it. I try to process it and understand it. I literally face myself and say "ok J what's happening here."
I never put any situation solely on to one person. I always owned my part in it. I never fully blamed one side because we all play our part in situations. A situation took place and I felt off. Logically it didn't make sense but I still felt a way and had to talk it out. I had to get it off my chest. It wasn't a big deal but I needed to say it.
After I did I thanked him for allowing me to open up and be transparent. His response stuck in my head. His response stayed with me. He said "Isn't that what this is all about." Meaning isn't our relationship about discussing when we don't feel ourselves or unhappy or off and talk things out. To work out through things so we can be better. Good. Happy.
YES!
Yes it is. Even in friendships and work and any type of situation you need to be transparent. You need to not yell or be emotional. You need to have a voice when you aren't feeling right without being emotional. This is what life is about. It is about being faced with something and dealing with it. NOT burying it. NEVER ever ever bury it. It's about saying "ok what is happening here" when you feel something inside that does not sit well with you.
I once dated someone who I could always openly say how I felt. We were really close but when I did I added emotions to it because I didn't know how else to explain my fear and hurt and pain. It was chaos within. He felt I was too emotional, I felt he added to it and didn't understand me. He didn’t see situations from my point of view. We would go back and forth for hours. But once I learned to process before reacting I could communicate the correct way. I eventually walked away 100%. I had to be logical and not stay because I was emotionally involved. I had to detach completely.
Why do I get triggered and you? Because we bury pain. We buried past pain and never faced it so now when we feel triggered we blame the current situation. And yes it may have to do with it but that buried pain that is what you still hurt from! No one taught us to effectively communicate and understand our emotions. No one. As adults we are learning.
It's your duty to understand your pain, triggers, emotions. Whatever is not sitting well with you please take the time to figure it out.
Please also only have relationships and friendships with people you can openly be real with. Who responds “isn’t that what this is all about”. Finding your people who get you and want to talk it all out. Be supportive and make things easier.
Peaches Please
It’s kindof our family tradition. When someone gets married you make peaches for a bridal shower. They are so delicious and so much work so we don’t get them often.
My cousin had a “drive by” bridal shower. With a tent and goodies inside. My aunt made the peaches for the occasion. It’s always a happy treat. Marriage is a beautiful thing. Peaches are unique and delicious. Hand in and hand.
They are filled with vanilla and chocolate custard. Rolled in a liquor and sugar.
I had to take some home to share with the kids- non alcoholic ones and with my boyfriend- the traditional ones with alcohol.
So delicious and beautiful.
What wedding traditions do your family have?
Love All You Can
It’s different dating after divorce. Normally you are looking to have more children or someone to marry when you date. Even though I do want marriage again one day. But for now, after already having kids and being married before, when you’re in a relationship it’s about finding someone who teaches you, who you can learn from and someone who brings fun and pure love to your life. Pure, honest, easy love.
We don’t know if things last forever. We must not restrict ourselves out of fear. We owe it to ourselves to take risks and love. I remind myself of that often.
I always loved hard. I never regretted it because that’s what I wanted to do at the time. I still love hard.
Harder I fall harder I am on myself. More fear and insecurities surface. You have to sort that out. You have to face it head on.
Harder I fall harder I am on myself. More fear and insecurities surface. You have to sort that out. You have to face it head on.
Tuesday, February 2, 2021
Monday, February 1, 2021
Snowstorm 2021: Get Outside
The girls wanted to help so they cleaned off the cars while I shoveled. The snow is like powder but gets heavy over time due to the large quantities.
After a while all our cheeks were red. We will need to do another round tomorrow. But when I looked at my Fitbit it calculated shoveling as 31 minutes of exercise.
So how many calories did I burn? Well according to this article it says an average person can burn 150-230 calories for 30 mins of shoveling.
Have you gone outside today?
Better Together
Whatever you decide to do on this snowed in day I hope it makes your heart happy. I hope you are better when you’re with the people who you love and love you. Whether it’s hot cocoa for breakfast or scrabble and board games before lunch. I hope you do everything your heart desires because life is short. So short that holding on to pain means not enjoying the moment. Having doubt means fearing what’s next. Being sad means not being happy now. .
Be better with the people you are with. Love, and cherish these moments. ❤️
Focus On Self-Love
It’s a process. Do it all the time. Make it a priority. Be happy alone with yourself. Anyone else is an addition. Do what makes you happy for you.
Sunday, January 31, 2021
Did You Know: All You Need Is 15 Mins
I love these Fitbit updates. I also love how it monitors our workouts.
I have been doing them all week with the kids. Less than 20 mins out of our day. We do circuits and it’s been great. Not just for the body but for the mind too.
Saturday, January 30, 2021
Never Doubt Yourself
Every time. In every situation. You were always enough. It was never you. The people who weren’t meant for you never was because of you. You couldn’t have done anything to change what happened. They were never your people. Never meant to stay.
It took me a really long time to realize that. It really did. But once you come to terms with it you’re able to know that no matter what you couldn’t do anything to change the outcome. It’s out of your control. Always was. Always will be.
You were always enough. I was always enough. They just weren’t meant to stay in our life and our journey.
We’ve Always Loved...
The beach. Even in the winter. Sasco beach in Fairfield has always been my favorite spot.
When You Collide With Others
This is by far my favorite post he put out. I always say people come along our journey and we hold on to them longer than we should at times. The angry therapist uses the word collide.
But regardless of what you call it we are all teachers. We teach people and they teach us. We learn about ourselves. We grow. We hurt. We love. We get challenged. We face our triggers and insecurities. We are powerful people. We have such influence over others. If we really understood our position in someone’s life we would really change the way we make them feel.
Who are you colliding with?
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